Monthly Archives: September 2003

Contrary

I’ve been off writing for a while now, which has been discouraging. Several times a week I say to myself, “I feel like writing,” but I don’t actually want to be involved in the physical act of bashing out a story. I want to feel like I feel when I’m writing, but I don’t want to write. (Does that make sense? I think it does.)

I believe that it has a lot to do with the amount of output I produced over the last twelve months, which is staggering when I look back on it. I’ve pinned down a couple of reasons which explain the reluctance to sit down and re-engage, and they all make sense — as mentioned earlier, my unintentional end-of-novel move in The Great Canadian Novel pretty much sent the “done” signal to my brain, and I’ve had an anti-computer kick going on as well — but overall, I think I just needed a break.

I’ve been mutinously reluctant to open my laptop again, so I did what I used to do: I went out and bought a new notebook with lovely smooth pages, and a new fine black ballpoint pen. I sat down with my lovely wooden lap desk that Ceri bought me three months ago, and did what I’ve been telling her to do all summer… I just started writing. And yes, the first words were “I don’t want to write”, followed closely by “none of my stories interest me”, and “maybe I should do this”, then by “or hey, yeah that” — and bang, all of a sudden there were 1,200 words of the lapsed Trinity dream story, which has acquired a working title of Crossroad.

So. I’m feeling much better about things. I even made notes on what can come next when I return to it.

Ladies, gentlemen and honoured others: she’s back.

*snicker*

Highlights of today’s horoscopes:

Gemini: An unhealthy addiction to H.P. Lovecraft novels will lead you to unnatural practices involving a squid and a meat pie.

Sagittarius: A good day to bet online. You�ll win big in the death pools but then feel unusually philanthropic and donate it all to the new reigning premier of Nigeria, who has graciously set up a private bank account, just for you.

Capricorn: A great day as 166,503 gullible Sagittarians fall for your email scam. One of them, an NSA agent, will pay an unexpected visit to your office tomorrow.

From Davezilla, natch, who also listed “The God of Abraham is a jealous God, and still upset that Ganesh can beat him at chess” among Verses that God Edited Out.

Mumbles and Mutters

I want a mouse with a scroll wheel set into it. I use one at work and I love it.

I want an optical mouse. I now hate my mouse cord. I’m still considering a light tablet.

I want to try an ergonomic keyboard. I almost had a free one, but it won’t work for various reasons.

I need to put new lenses in my previous pair of glasses, because now that I’ve started wearing glasses all the time, I take them off and forget them in odd places. My glasses on the coffee table at home do not help me when I’m sitting in an office staring at a computer screen. (Two pairs of glasses might mean I lose them twice as often, but at least I’ll have increased my chances of having an operational pair close to hand.)

The Kim Possible: Secret Files DVD was released this week, as was the second season of Angel, and the second season of 24 comes out on DVD next week. Either studios are counting on the arrival of student loans across North America, or it’s all an evil plot to keep me in abject poverty. (What? You didn’t know that I’m a huge Kim Possible fan? So huge that I want a new cell phone so it can beep like her pager? Yes, I’m a geek. Sue me. How can I not love a show with a theme song that begins, “I’m just an average girl/And I’m here to save the world”?)

I’m tired of slow dial-up, and I want high-speed or DSL.

And the problem with waking up before dawn is that you’re ready to do things like banking and shopping before banks and shops are open. Drat.

Autumn PotPourri:

Over the past three days my back has developed that nasty kink in it that had me lying on the floor eighteen months ago. I’m trying to avoid movements that trigger the intense pain, but I forget sometimes and yelp embarrassingly. This isn’t so bad at home, where there are only cats to look at you condescendingly, but when you’re freelancing in an office, people turn around.

My press packet and the NDA haven’t reached the US publisher. I’m a smidge anxious. It should have been there by Wednesday.

There are five books at my local secondhand bookstore that I covet. Problem is, they’re all ten dollars or so. They’re trade paperbacks, so I ought to look at the encouraging fact that fifty dollars is significantly less than the hundred dollars or more that I’d pay for them new, and all of them are in mint condition. I do have a paycheque that needs to be deposited, and a morning free today. Hmm…

I woke up at 4 AM so I got up and began sorting through all my teaching stuff. Yes, CMS level 1 sessions begin again tonight! I love beginning classes again; I meet new people, discover new points of view, and refresh my own knowledge as we go. Then I get to do it again tomorrow morning with another level 1 group. Saturday afternoon, though, I get to start a new level 2 group, which will include several of my past level 1 graduates (Joy!), and on Sunday I have a level 3 group of equally marvellous ex-level-2 students. (Yes, if you think all of that through, I’m teaching from Friday night straight through to Sunday afternoon.) The first session of all of these ends in early February, so I’m looking forward to five months of study and watching people make new connections and acquire new skills and knowledge.

This is always a stressful time of year, though, what with people scurrying about and re-integrating their schedules and what-not. Orchestra begins again for me next Wednesday, for example. I’m glad the weather has become sane again, at least. Everyone can be thankful for that. If you can’t get outside for half an hour, at least look out a window often!

So Much For The Vacation

Home again. It feels like I didn’t have a vacation at all.

I tried to have a nice quiet tea-hour with my oldest girlfriend this morning and we were interrupted by the electrician and three phonecalls in and two out. Then I went into work for a nice quiet session of freelance data entry and was drawn into the whirlwind that is the wholesale division. Skippy came over to do battle with newly acquired computer bits ten minutes after I got home. I’m exhausted. I’m in the process of denying the scratchy feeling in my throat and the vaguely nauseous feeling that’s been nagging at me; I refuse to be sick.

Lord Skippy has blended the guts of two computers (“Your chocolate is in my peanut butter!”) and has created a new taste sensation which I have dubbed “BiFrost, Computer of the Gods”. Two hard drives! Two! Muah-hah-hah!

I’m exhausted, so I’m stumbling off to bed. Besides, if I take off my glasses and lose them one more time I think I’ll scream.

Just wanted to let you know that I’m alive. G’night.