I hate it when insecure people create issues out of nothing.
I made a statement regarding the concept of chosen families and blood family in someone’s comments, and someone else took issue with it — not with me, but with the blogger. They took a neutral statement and read valuation into it somehow, despite the lack of positive or negative terms, and imposed a whack of stress upon the poor blogger.
The whole thing arose out of the concept of family.
Now, sue me if I’m wrong, but last I looked, the biological unit of mother/father/offspring didn’t have an exclusive right to the word “family”.
When the blogger sent me a private plea for help, one of the options suggested was retraction. Nuh-uh. I don’t retract unless I’m wrong, and agree that I’m wrong. Instead, I wrote a clarification, which included the following:
We form several different ‘families’, or tight-knit communities based on common interests, throughout our lives. At any one time, an individual may have an academic family, a social family, or a spiritual family in addition to his/her own geneological family. No one family is more important than another; they all perform necessary functions. Taken together, these families create a complex context for the individual’s growth and development.
These families exist in different dimensions, but no one family supersedes another. There exists no hierarchy. Rather, there exists a harmony through which the individual is nurtured.
On a practical level, there are no negative words in the phrase I wrote, and it was written thusly in deliberate fashion. ‘Different’ does not mean ‘better’ or ‘worse’, ‘higher’ or ‘lower’; it simply means ‘different’. None of the words in the phrase indicate a value judgement in any fashion, and to seek to interpret them as such is to create a false statement.
What I didn’t say was that anyone who chooses to create mountains out of molehills and put a guilt trip on someone else is more than likely operating out of fear or narrow-mindedness, and obviously needs a hobby like knitting or basket-weaving to fill the time they currently spend in making people miserable.
What amuses the heck out of me at the same time is that my irritation with narrow-mindedness arises from my (admittedly) liberal views. I become severely annoyed if someone can’t step out of themselves for a moment and use their stunted imaginations to pretend, just for a moment, what it’s like for the other guy. This has always been a strength and curse for me. In an argument I can usually see both points of view. When it comes to someone deliberately closing their minds to the fact that truth is subjective, though, I get downright grr.
Ah, well. Things like family, emotion, religion, and politics are always accompanied by a short fuse. The whole issue of same-sex marriage is currently revolving around offspring — why else would people insist that marriage be defined as the legal union of one man and one woman? Perhaps the time has come to realise that the term “family” does indeed mean more than the biological unit.