Blah blah 2007 blah

New calendar day, except that we don’t have a new calendar yet because our old one had an extra page for January 2007, and we didn’t see anything we liked last week.

I slept dreadfully last night. I’d had a tiring day, as Liam was on the go every moment, and fully intended to go to sleep early. Had a bath. Read Maeve Binchy’s Whitethorn Woods from cover to cover. Was still wide awake around 1:30 AM, and unpleased about it. It made getting up with Liam this morning lots of no fun.

I had a lovely time during our evening drop-in on the 30th; perhaps we will make it an annual thing. I had the opportunity to talk with people I hadn’t really spoken with in, erm, months (I swear it was June just a day ago, I swear), and Liam got to rampage about with Arthur and Devon. The pirate ship was a huge hit among adults and children alike. In speaking with sandman7, I realised that all the events in my life which are supposed to be enjoyable, supportive of the self, or social are work, except for orchestra. This was a huge breakthrough, and further firms my decisions to shed certain responsibilites and positions.

The temperature is stupid. HRH looked out the back door this morning and said, “All my lovely snow is going away. I worked hard for that snow, damn it.”

We went over to my in-laws’ place yesterday for a couple of hours, and they sent us home with a prime rib roast to cook for New Year’s Day dinner. So now you all know what I’m having tonight. And Yorkshire pudding, too.

I don’t make resolutions, but these are some wishes I have for 2007:

– Less self-inflicted head trauma for Liam. In the past three days, he has tripped and whacked three different parts of his head. He’s developing an impressive black eye as a result of not looking where he was going and falling into the heater in his room this morning.

– To regain some sort of interest in food. Food in general, really, but specifically the eating of it.

– The re-initialising of enjoying being with people. I’m trapped between wanting to be out of the house but not wanting to leave, because whenever I do I’m on my way out to do something that has become work and not fun. I’ve never been a people-person, and I’m becoming even less of one because of an aggregate of people-associated irritations (no, nothing specific, just people, argh, you know?).

– Spending more time with certain people. Over the past year I’ve discovered that talking with two particular people either stimulates my mind or makes me relax, and I want to spend more time with these individuals. One I’ve known forever, and the other is still a relatively recent discovery from the past couple of years. (One of them recently said, “So, how are you?” and actually meant it. I can’t remember the last time someone asked me that and meant it, instead of in a light conversational fashion or a general non-specific you-should-take-care-of-yourself address.)

– For the emotional burnout to stop. I’m a listener by nature. People share their fears and frustrations and challenges with me because it makes them feel better to get it off their chest, and this past year has seen it draining me beyond what I can handle. No matter how much I shield and purify, it wears me down. It’s not personal, and it’s not that I want the friends-aspect of it to stop; I just need to take a step back and rebuild my own energy so that I can deal with it properly.

– Rediscover the joy in music in general, and classical music in particular. I have an excellent CD collection, over half of which is classical. Over the past year I’ve been looking at it listlessly and feeling as if there’s nothing I want to listen to, which is ridiculous. I’m toying with the idea of systematically listening to at least one CD from my collection every day, starting with the first one in the top shelf and working my way through the collection. And this wish leads to:

– Rediscovering the joy in playing the cello. I would love to start playing in a classical quartet, with a real coach. I met a Canadian composer last week who asked if I played weddings, and I just laughed. But it made me think. Why not? I’d have to pull up my socks and knuckle down, but it would give me a reason to work on my music more. I am lazy when it comes to practicing, because I can get away with not doing a lot of it. But I always do wonder how much better I could be if I practised even more than the couple of hours a week that I do now. Also, sandman7 suggested that we get together and play just for fun, which is a lovely idea.

Look at that; no wishes about writing and/or career. Things are pretty okay there. Sure, I wish my fiction would take off the way my non-fic has, but there’s time aplenty for all that.

8 thoughts on “Blah blah 2007 blah

  1. Ivy

    RYC: Same to you, sweets. :) Here’s hoping you play lots more, and receive the acclaim you desire for your fiction writing! I’m reading The Way of the Green Witch at the mo’, and I must say I’m really enjoying it. Thank Goodness for something that takes us beyond 101 stuff!

  2. Owldaughter Post author

    I’m so glad you like it! Although that one wasn’t intended as a 201; it was more all-inclusive than the other not-beginner books. But I do tend to avoid obvious basics in general, don’t I. :)

  3. Phnee

    Sounds like you and I are having similar thoughts about similar things. There are lots of activities in which I’ve been involved lately which demand time and energy that I just don’t have these days. Things are going to be changing soon, and I hope it’s for the better.

    I wish I could have been there on Saturday, but I was going *insane* trying to get the place ready for Sunday lunch and I finally just passed out in the early evening. I was an unsociable mess anyway and it would have been fun for no one.

    Next year. :)

  4. Asherah B.

    I went through the very same energy drain with certain people in my life until only a few years ago. Being a listener is a gift, but also (as you know) invites so much baggage that isn’t yours to hold. It must feel good to unburden onto someone who takes it in like a sponge, but these people also have to know when the balance/tipping point has been reached. Last year, I took the challenging step of ending a ‘friendship’ that sapped my energies in exactly this way. I felt much lighter. Wishing you and your family a happy new year.

  5. Owldaughter Post author

    And to you and yours, Asherah! And with every wish for a safe and healthy delivery, too.

    I’ve ended relationships like that as well. It’s hard to do, because you know the person needs you, but it’s just too damaging. In my case, it’s happening everywhere, so there’s no one person from whom I need to detach, thank goodness. I just need to figure out how to recharge properly again.


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