Category Archives: The Boy

Weekend Roundup

Lying awake during one of the long wakeful stretches I had last night, I finally realised something. I’m somewhat shutting down overall. It’s a temporary thing, but it’s what’s happening in order to maintain basic services. I also finally talked to HRH about something that I’d figured out earlier, namely that I’m being immensely stressed by a set of circumstances from which there doesn’t appear to be any alternative other than trashing the whole plan, which is stressful in a different way. (And I did it in casual fashion, too, while we were making dinner on Sunday, instead of actually sitting down and talking about it face to face, which would have been its own kind of stress.)

Saturday morning I had my cello lesson, and it began beautifully. I did a smooth, beautiful tonalization sequence of arpeggios, and it was really even and balanced and in tune and soft and there are lots of other pretty words I could use to describe it because it was almost perfect. My teacher asked me how I felt about it and I kind of shrugged and said, “It was nice. I liked it.” (Which was an understatement, because I had been amazed at how smooth and effortless it had been, but it was a warm-up and I hadn’t been paying very close attention when I did it.) She said, “Well, I have goosebumps! That was beautiful!” And she was partly kidding, and partly not. But then everything started to go downhill, until it hit the usual point about two-thirds of the way through the lesson where it can’t get any worse and I start to freeze up because nothing I do works and I waver between abject misery and anger. I know what happens: my teacher starts pointing out things we need to fix and I try to keep it all in my mind, and the more I try to think about everything (bring the left elbow forward a degree more when shifting up and crossing a string, wrap the bow around the string by moving the right elbow forward or back, pronate hands, caterpillars, tunnels) the worse I play. Adding more things to the list of things I need to constantly check clogs up my brain and I start dropping basic things I’ve already internalized. It’s part of the learning process, but not a part I especially enjoy.

My teacher has an analogy for this: It’s like the drive shaft on a set of train wheels. At first it feels like you’re moving forward, but then the drive shaft starts going through the second half of the cycle and the illusion of going backward is created, even though the overall unit is still moving forward. And if I think about it I’m doing things now that I couldn’t do two months ago. But that doesn’t particularly comfort me at the two-thirds point of the lesson. My teacher told me as I was packing up to remember the tonalization, though, and to remind myself frequently that I have the wherewithal to make that beautiful sound.

It’s also rather frustrating because I’ve been spending so much practise time on the orchestra music and not paying attention to my lesson stuff, and as a result when I played the Lee that I’d played well a month ago it was awful and we had to spend time addressing the problems there. The plan for two spring/early summer concerts has been dropped (not directly related to how poorly I’m doing, but rather to people not all being available) and so I don’t need to worry about having it ready until a month after the original deadline, which after this past lesson is a good thing.

Saturday night we had dinner at Ceri and Scott’s house, where we met Scott’s brother and sister in law who are terrific people. After dinner a few more people showed up for a Rock Band party, although I spent most of my time upstairs by the fire knitting, which was delightful and relaxing and exactly what I needed.

Sunday morning the boy had his Pagan playgroup where they cut out a circle divided into sections to make up the Wheel of the Year, and drew pictures in each section to indicate what holiday or season it indicated. It took him longer to cut out his circle than any of the other kids, but I don’t think he’s ever used scissors for more than making random decorative cuts on scraps of paper. In some of the sections he scribbled random shapes, but in others he drew very specific and recognisable things: a tree for Beltaine, the sun for summer solstice, a loaf of bread and corn on the cob for Lughnassadh, autumn leaves for the autumn equinox, a pumpkin for Samhain. He drew a Christmas tree-shaped scribble for Yule (but in red instead of green), and he coloured the entire Imbolc wedge red and told me it was fire. Ostara was a blue scribble that is the Easter Bunny, apparently. The other topic of discussion was gods and goddesses, and when the facilitator asked who knew what a god or goddess was his hand shot up into the air along with his gods-sister’s, who fortunately was the one called on to explain. While she was talking he turned to me and said, “They’re statues!” Which is a logical answer from him because in our house we do have an inordinate amount of divine statuary, but would have by necessity initiated a discussion regarding representations versus the real thing that probably wouldn’t have been easily understandable for kids. We’ll work on that at home.

All in all, apart from the comfort of Saturday night, the weekend was… well, it’s over. Maybe my sleep patterns will settle into something better than three broken hours a night, and other things will improve as a result.

Valentines

I gave the boy a little box of chocolate hearts with Lightning McQueen on the lid, and I am the best mom ever.

    A: Here you are! Happy Valentine’s Day, sweetie.

    BOY: Oh, wow — what is it?

    A: It’s chocolates. Happy Valentine’s Day.

    BOY: Can I have one?

    A: Yes, you may have chocolate at nine in the morning, because it is Valentine’s Day.

    BOY: Gee, thanks! [opens box, takes a foil-wrapped chocolate out, unwraps it strip by strip, and nibbles the treat] It’s hard!

    A: Yes, and it’s got Rice Krispies inside, too.

    BOY: Thanks, Mama!

    [A turns to leave]

    BOY: [calls after her] That was very kind of you, Mama. Thank you!

Then we had to negotiate when he would be allowed to eat another one, so I brought the clock over and said that when the little hand was pointing at the ten and the big hand was pointing at the twelve, he could have a second one. He decided to hold the clock in one hand and the box of chocolates in the other, just so he wouldn’t miss the precise moment when he’d be allowed to unwrap another chocolate.

Have a terrific day, everyone! Hug a cat or a tree or a friend.

Forty-Four Months Old!

Our house is all Star Wars, all the time. The boy is alternately Artoo, the Millennium Falcon, and either the Imperial Star Destroyer or the Rebel Blockade Runner. Lego is now material for creating X-wings and TIE fighters and Star Destroyers. I found an R2-D2 figure the other day (Clone Wars figures, who knew?) and bought it for him. He’s still thanking me. He drew about nine pictures of Star Wars characters and ships last week, which I should find and put up on the fridge.

I love that someone can mention something about the moon, and I can say, “That’s no moon, that’s a space station,” and without missing a beat my son will reply, “It’s too big to be a space station. Maybe you should turn the ship around. Yeah, yeah, I think you’re right.” While he plays with Lego spaceships in his room I can hear him recite passages of dialogue accurately, complete with inflection and accent.

In the book area we’re revisiting picture books as we search for a new series of early chapter books to read aloud. A Bear Called Paddington didn’t work; neither did The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. The ratio of illustrations to text needs to be higher.

January was music month at preschool, and as part of the unit he made a guitar out of an empty Kleenex box and the long roll from gift wrap at school, complete with rubber bands stretched across the box opening. The picture says it all.

The biggest thing this past month is his sudden fascination with babies and how they grow. After seeing a woman in an advanced stage of pregnancy (as in, one could see and/or feel the baby moving) he asked where babies came from. Rather than get into super-specific technical explanations we told him that there’s a little bit of each of the mother and father that is grown inside the mother’s tummy over a long, long time. He then (incorrectly but understandably) inferred that the food one eats is what grows the baby. No no, we explained, the baby actually grows underneath the tummy, not in the stomach where the food goes to be digested, although indirectly yes, the food one eats is what helps the baby grow. And then he decided that he had a baby in his tummy and could feel it moving. So we had to disappoint him by saying that alas, only mothers could do this particular trick, although if he wanted to find a way for fathers to do it too when he grew up then more power to him. He then decided that there was a baby growing in my tummy, specifically a baby sister. And he cheerfully started telling people this. Which made things slightly awkward at times, until he decided we needed a new Maggie-cat, and included the information that there was a baby Maggie and a baby sister growing in my tummy. (Just to be absolutely clear: No, on both the kitten and the baby.)

We’ve begun talking about where we will eventually move to next, although it’s certainly not any time soon. He was quite upset by this for a bit, saying that he didn’t want to move to the new house, that he wanted to stay here, that this house was fine. I asked him where this hypothetical little sister would sleep. “In my bunk bed, with me!” he said. “She’d be too little,” I pointed out, “she’d need a crib.” “We could move my easel and put the crib at the end of my bed,” he said, which was very generous of him. While they were out on a walk or a shopping trip he and HRH saw a puppy, and talk turned to owning a dog someday. When they came home Liam burst into the house and said, “Mama, we have to get a new house and then we can have a dog!” So suddenly the new house isn’t such a bad thing. He’s decided that the bathtub will be bigger, the kitchen will be bigger, the living room will be bigger ( “And we will bring our new TV!”), and he will have an office of his own, like Mama and Dada do, with his own computer. To which I said hey, sure, because HRH has already let the IT guys at work now that the next time the eMacs get replaced he has dibs on a couple, one earmarked for the boy himself.

I mentioned that there was a level-up somewhere around Christmas. Well, there’s been another in the past two weeks. The reasoning and language and behaviour and associated stuff has refined yet again. It’s great. On the other hand, he’s hiding his reading skills from us and still trying to convince us that he can’t dress himself or draw. He pretends all over the place and tells exciting stories, and is getting better at lying down in his room and playing with trains or cars for a good half hour or so, constructing elaborate conversations between them and narrating the action.

He has recently gone crazy for raw snow peas. He’s been horse-like in his appetite lately in general (as in eating horse-sized servings, not preferring grass and oats) but particularly so for raw peas and carrots, bananas, blackberries, cantaloupe, and corn. The nap habit is kind of iffy; at school we’re lucky if he naps for half an hour, because there’s so much going on to distract him, and the older kids don’t nap any more. And as he hangs around with them, well, he sees it as perfectly reasonable that he doesn’t need to nap either. Which is, alas, untrue, because if the nap is missed he’s a whiny cranky horror by six o’clock. He naps around an hour and a half with his caregiver and Grandma, and about two hours at home, though, so heh, the nap is not a thing of the past yet, my son.

Something that amuses us is a sudden aggressive politeness. When you tell him to do something and he angrily says, “No, thanks!“, it’s really hard to hide the smile. He has also recently taken to moaning, “Oh, I never get to do [thing you won’t let me do]!” when we tell him no, and we’re very hard put to not laugh out loud at the dramatic hyperbole. Especially when it involves playing with cars, Lego, trains, colouring, watching a movie, or eating crackers. Because you know in our house those fun things Just Aren’t Done. Ever.

Other Liam posts this past month:

~ Liam is introduced to Star Wars

Interview Outtakes

The second half of the interview with Neil Gaiman has been posted at fps!

Here are the promised outtakes.

First, a single line because it made me laugh. The context: The assistant had given me the two minute warning, which meant about seventeen minutes had gone by.

    NG: You haven’t even asked any questions, I’ve just monologued at you!

And here’s the post-interview stuff.

    A: I have tons more questions that I wish I had asked —

    NG: I’m sorry!

    A: But obviously we are out of time. So what I will ask you to do is —

    NG: Do you need me to scribble on anything for you?

    A: I would very much like you to. It took me – I’m not kidding – since I was given this assignment it took me five days to figure out what I would ask you to sign, and finally I said, Well, since the interview’s for Coraline, I shall ask you to sign that.

    NG: Spell your name.

    A: A – r – i – n.

    [NG shakes his fountain pen]

    NG: I, of course, was an idiot, and left this uncapped.

    A: Do you need another? [because OF COURSE I have brought a fountain pen to a Neil Gaiman interview] Oh, you’ve got a back up. Okay. [ballpoint, alas]

    NG: How is this, it should work – A-r-i-n? [writes]

    A: Yes, that’s correct!

    NG: Where’s it from?

    A: My parents made it up.

    NG: Ah! [draws]

    A: Well, obviously it’s all over the place now, but thirty-eight years ago they made it up. My mother is Scottish, from Kirkcaldy, and wanted to call me Aran, for the Isle of Aran.

    NG: Right.

    A: My dad’s Irish, and wanted to call me Erin. So, they compromised. They went halves.

    NG: [laughs] So you have an Aran meets Erin. Which leaves you somewhere around the Isle of Mann in terms of geographics.

    A: [Laughs.]

    [NG continues to draw]

    A: I’m trying to get my son to agree to let me read him The Day I Swapped My Dad for Two Goldfish.

    NG: How old is he?

    A: He’s going to be four in a few months. And he won’t – ‘No Mama, I don’t want to read it, I just want to look at the pictures.’ And he’ll look at the pictures and say, ‘Why is he holding a gorilla mask?’ And I say, ‘Well, we’ll have to read the book and find out.’ ‘No, I don’t want to do that yet.’

    NG: That’s so cool. The point I knew that The Wolves in the Walls worked as a book was when my friend Gary Wolfe called me from Chicago to tell me his grandchildren had been over, and the 3 yr old had made him read them The Wolves in the Walls and he did. And then the light was going, and she asked if he would read it again. And he couldn’t really see the text properly so he began, ‘Lucy was wandering around the place.’

    A: Telling the pictures.

    NG: And she said, “Granpa. It’s ‘Lucy walked around the place.’” And she, on one listen, had it cold.

    A: That’s great. I love hearing my son start to do that. ‘Here Mum, I’ll read this book to you,’ and you know, he’s pretty darn close, and you realize that reading really is an awful lot of memorization.

    NG: Yeah. It’s – there’s so much of words that is memory, remembering the shapes, the word shapes. We don’t actually read it; we only think we read it.

    [NG shows A the drawing he’s done in the book.]

    A: [laughs] I love it. Thank you, so very, very much.

    NG: You are so very welcome. Thank you for coming.

    A: I’m looking forward to you coming back in August.

    NG: I will be here!

This is the last post on the topic, I promise. But you must understand, it’s been eating my life since Tuesday of last week. In a good way, but still. Now it’s all out of my system.

Here is something totally unconnected: I have an appointment with the luthier tonight to adjust the 7/8 cello, and get the rental thing started. I hope I can stay awake that long, and be focused enough during the appointment to test and evaluate the adjustments.

Boy’s Post Up, Plus A Brief Weekend Review

I finally published the 43-month post for the boy, and backdated it. It had been sitting there for quite some time, only missing photos. So that’s done.

Other than that, well, I finished knitting my slippers and had fun felting for the very first time. The slippers fit my feet fine around the foot, but ended up two inches too long and pointy instead of rounded. I suspect I misread part of the pattern that said ‘knit till 22 cm long;’ I measured from the start of the piece instead of from the last increase, thereby missing about three or four inches of knitting. I’ll try again with the different measurement to see what happens. In the meantime they are warm, which is what I wanted, and after cutting two inches off the not-supposed-to-be-pointy toes and seaming them shut, they’re fine for home use. Although I took them to my cello lesson yesterday and my teacher thought they were great, and has asked for the pattern. So. Also, the machine felting was much more exciting than it should have been. (I take my fun where I can get it.)

I still have the 7/8; I called to make an appointment for the adjustments and the evaluation of the slice/scratch/cut thing last Saturday and the people who I needed to look at it weren’t there. I’ll call them at the Montreal store this week and make an appointment with them for Friday night. Rental is $75 per month for a cello for at least two months, and 70% of the rental fee goes toward eventual purchase of whatever, which is good news. I had a very frustrating cello lesson on Sunday, which I would like to think means I’m plateauing and am about to make some sort of brilliant breakthrough, but I suspect only reflects the general fatigue and frustration of the weekend. We’d been invited out for dinner Saturday night but had to decline due to a previous engagement, which ended up being cancelled by the other person involved two hours before it was supposed to begin, which didn’t do much for my mood this weekend, either. Especially since we’d had a second invitation for Saturday night that we’d also turned down.

On the other hand, the boy had his first official pagan playgroup session yesterday morning (which he is already calling ‘circle’) and had a blast casting the circle with singing and instrument-playing and marching, talking about spring and the return of the sun, planting seeds and making Brigid’s crosses out of pipe-cleaners, then having a snack afterwards. I suspect that he would much prefer something more frequent than once a month.

I’ve finally downloaded iTunes to test-run it as a possible alternative to WMP and purchasing music via eMusic. Other than that, I am generally exhausted, and have had not-nice headaches the past three days. But I ate a piece of chocolate cake for breakfast. So there.

Awesome

My friends are awesome. Most of you know this, because you are either a friend in real life, or you have read here before how awesome they are.

Today’s proof of awesome: Ceri just bought me a knitting pattern so I can make a lightsaber for the boy. Ceri is made of awesome.

I’ve been having a really tough time lately for a variety of reasons. This, and the news about how advanced the Scott Pilgrim vs. The World movie is (they’re filming in Toronto this spring!) have been the highlights of the past two days.

As of Monday afternoon I’ve also been negotiating another book project. Not mine, exactly; picking up someone else’s anthology collection after their departure. More news once things settle and we see where they are.

Mission Accomplished

The boy has been successfully initiated into the world of Star Wars. So much so that he played ‘oh no the walls are closing in we have to call the robots!’ in the bath last night. He also pulled a blue towel over his head and told us that he was ‘the little one with the one eye and two wheels’, which took me a moment before I understood that he was pretending to be R2-D2.

He says ‘Tith Lords’ in the most charming fashion, called Chewbacca ‘Rawbawca’ for a bit, thought X-wings were pretty cool, and asked where his own lightsaber was as soon as Obi-Wan handed one to Luke. ( “Erm,” HRH temporized, because of course we have a pair; we just didn’t want to hand him one and watch the ensuing devastation as he gleefully swept things off shelves.) We’re currently escaping Hoth in ESB.

And the final seal of approval: When we played the Star Wars soundtrack yesterday afternoon, he danced like a truly crazed thing. And he asked for it in the car this morning.

Excellent.