Nix came home with me again this afternoon.

The vet examined her and quietly showed me that there were multiple masses, mammary tumours, and that in cats such masses were generally malignant. I’d done my research and I knew the numbers, so it wasn’t a shock. He said in theory they could be removed… but, I pointed out, they’d already regrown once, probably twice, and he couldn’t guarantee that they wouldn’t regrow yet again. (In fact, he said, “This mass has been here for a while, it was here the last time she was in, wasn’t it?” and I said that no, that one had been removed. So not only has a new one grown back in these past four months, it now has friends.)

Is it cancer? Probably. But to be sure they’d have to do tests and biopsies, and really, even if it was confirmed, there’s nothing anyone could do anyway. So I said I’d like to take her home again to be with us as long as possible until the quality of life dictates otherwise. We worked together to develop a treatment to hopefully heal the wound she created by licking and chewing away at her fur–topical antibiotics, antibiotic pills, and cortisone, plus more bandaging–and the last treatment is love, lots of it.

How long do we have left with her? Who knows? In general, my research has indicated that four to six months is common after the masses show. Except we found and dealt with the first one about three years ago (it was nowhere as extensive as these ones, though), so really, your guess is as good as mine. If it is cancer, it will be a shorter time than a longer one. But every day is precious. She is a strong, healthy, ten-year-old cat, other than the undetermined masses. We will watch her with love and make the decision when it is time, or when she asks us.