Hmm. This is surprisingly prevalent among acquaintances of mine. It may be more common than people theorize. Or maybe everyone has a little bit of this inside them, and it affects people to a greater or lesser degree. Or maybe I just hang out with people who panic a lot, like me.
[…]These were duly vetted, highly successful scholars who nonetheless live in creeping fear of being found out. Exposed. Sent packing.
If that sounds familiar, you may have the impostor syndrome. In psychological terms, that’s a cognitive distortion that prevents a person from internalizing any sense of accomplishment.
“It’s like we have this trick scale,” says Valerie Young, a traveling expert on the syndrome who gave the workshop at Columbia. Here’s how that scale works: Self-doubt and negative feedback weigh heavily on the mind, but praise barely registers. You attribute your failures to a stable, inner core of ineptness. Meanwhile, you discount your successes as accidental or, worse, as just so many confidence jobs. Every positive is a false positive.
Full article: You’re Not Fooling Anyone by John Gravois
(Via Arts & Letters Daily)
Tell me about it. Eurgh.
*raises hand*
Guilty.
I have found that repeating positive things over and over to myself (and I’m talking over a period of *years* here) eventually dispels impostor syndrome symptoms. It hasn’t gotten rid of it, but I do mostly live through every day without constant paralyzing anxiety of being “found out.”
I feel it necessary – and regrettably so – to point out the following:
Most people in one’s environment will contribute to making this worse.
Express self-deprecation among your friends, and you will get praise. Which it is easy to discount, because A)it was implicitly soilicited, B)you’re feeling miserable.
Praise yourself in public (or even, among most friends); someone will get uncomfortable, jealous, human, and try to “take you down a peg.”
But self-worth has to count *all* the time. Not just when you “need” it – because you always do.
I am happy that the people I surround myself with and call friends are mostly fighting against these negative impulses.
t!
Been there, have the scars and successes to prove it!
I think we discussed this… but I long ago learned to use my imposter feelings to my advantage, to work harder and smarter than anyone who feels they have it all together!
Oh my, yes, this does sound all too familiar. I love having a name to attach to the sickness, however.