Daily Archives: August 11, 2003

Spiritual Retreat

I can’t exactly provide a more in-depth commentary on my camping experience this weekend, so for now…

I passed my clergy exam. With flying colours, apparently, though numbers will not be released. And I aced the practical, which was ground-breaking and deliberately crushing, apparently in order to make a point to a certain number of my evaluators (I love politics, don’t you?). It was a real high to have people whom I respect as spiritual leaders involved in various impressive paths, traditions and positions come up to me over the weekend to tell me how impressed they’d been with my performance. I have every right to be proud of my achievements.

In circle, you may now call me “Lady Autumn”. I’ve damned well earned it with blood, sweat, and lots of tears: tears of frustration, joy, and anger in various amounts at various times. I’ve taken my oath to serve and to walk the clerical path, and I’ve been warned that it just gets harder.

The theme of the weekend was “Bring it on!” (most of the time – at certain points it was “Don’t make me get Canadian on your ass!”), and you know, after the stunning proof in the pudding (of Friday night in particular and the last five days in general), I can say that with all confidence regarding the rest of my life, now. So, bring it on. I’ve proven that I can deal with a tremendous amount of stress, upheaval, and pain over the past few years, and come out swinging. I’m only human, and I’ll still make mistakes, but by the gods, I can hold my head high and be proud of who I am, who I’ve become, and the choices I’ve made. I can help others survive, and seek, and witness for them throughout the changes in their lives, too.

It’s not what I ever thought I’d end up doing with my life, but destiny rarely drops you a neat little schedule at your birth to paste into your baby book.