Category Archives: Spirituality

Huge Weekend

Lots and lots of stuff happened this weekend. Lots. Not as in going-places sort of things, but as in Significant Decisions. And I am very proud and very supportive of everyone who went through the tough decision-making process and arrived at a conclusion that was right for them, if not comfortable or easy. You all know who you are. (And yes, I’m counted in there too.)

To otherwise generally recap the weekend:

Awesome band practice. I recorded much of the rehearsal using the minidisc, and wow. I now have an adaptor that may allow me to link it into the sound card, so I’ll be messing about with that and Audacity this afternoon.

Saturday night was the 2007 Capricornucopia extravagana, for which my darling Mousme wrote me a role that was not humungous nor expository in any way, and was in fact comedic. I adore Wodehousian comedy, and to be given lines such as “I am off to go look for a suitable frock in which to end my already frightfully brief existence” was absolutely delicious. Also, I got to scream on stage again. This looks suspiciously like a trend.

There is currently scads of snow coming down outside.

Surreal – Private

The Way of the Green Witch is currently in the top 100 bestsellers in the Wicca category in Amazon.ca, occupying the 82th position. Oddly, it outranks the Ann Moura green witchcraft books. It’s also outselling most of the books by Buckland, Farrars, and Starhawk.

I find this really out of whack. Granted, this list of the top 100 Wicca-category books reflects recent sales on Amazon.ca alone, and it’s not like it’s one of the top 100 bestselling books from all categories — but still. Very surreal.

Nineteen Months Old!

At the doctor’s on Tuesday Liam was measured standing up (tall instead of long!) and weighed on the big people’s scale for the first time. He kept crouching down to put his hand on the dial, saying “Car!” because it looked like an odometer. Yes, Liam goes fast — why walk when you can run? — and grows fast, too: he has hit the 75% percentile in everything and shows no sign in slowing down. He’s 84.5 cm tall, and 13 kg (or 33-something inches and 28 lbs), so anyone who claims that they can actually see him grow from week to week may well not be engaging in hyperbole. Goodness knows that I’ve had to go through his clothes for the second time in a month and remove yet another round of stuff that doesn’t fit, and his pant legs no longer need to be turned up as much. Also, two sets of brand new pyjamas don’t fit properly, one of them a Christmas gift that he just tried on. It’s the tops: size 2 tops in flannel that don’t stretch are just too small to fit over his shoulders and get onto the second arm. (I may cut slits up the sides and hem them, or I may just find him a big floppy t-shirt to wear over the pyjama bottoms and put the tops away.) The fourth and final canine tooth made its appearance around New Year’s Eve, so he’s all on schedule there.

We’ve begun dispensing with the snap-on tray for the booster seat, and pulling him right up to the table instead. He feels much more grown-up, and seems to eat accordingly. I try to give him meals on real plates or bowls too. Last week when I called him for dinner he pulled a regular chair out and scrambled up, so I let him sit in a real grown-up chair at the grown-up table, and it was mostly okay. The lack of straps holding him in meant that when he leaned over to share food with Maggie there was nothing preventing him from falling right over, though, and he discovered that he could turn around and put his legs through the posts in the back. But other than the ongoing attempt to convince us to allow him to sit in a grown-up chair, it’s all good. He handles a fork very well, although half the time he picks food up in his free hand to put it on the fork before fitting it into his mouth. New foods include gravy, chicken nuggets, ham, prime rib (!), Yorkshire pudding, Jell-O, clementine oranges, penne, mushrooms, rotisserie chicken, coleslaw, and lots of other stuff. He eats any cheese I hand to him. In fact, if I grate cheese on something he’s more likely to eat it, and now it seems that gravy makes everything cool too. One wonders what he would do if I gave him poutine: potatoes, gravy, and cheese are three of his most favourite things. I think he’d die of sheer bliss.

Liam is currently obssessed with the new book Not A Box by Antoinette Portis, a gift from t! and Jan this Christmas. It’s already got fingerprints and grease stains on it. He absolutely loves it, and asks for it by saying “box, box, box”. On the first pages, when asked what it’s doing in a cardboard box, the bunny says “It’s not a box”, and Liam says “Car!”, which is what the bunny is imagining the cardboard box to be. This is where I heard ‘mountain’ for the first time, too (‘mouman’), and ‘notta’ and ‘box’. (He likes the penguin book Lost and Found by Oliver Jeffers too, but he loses interest when they hit the high seas and slides off my lap to go find Not A Box instead, thus saving me from the inevitable sniffles and tears that I fight back every time I read Lost and Found.) He’s very good with paper pages, although when he gets terribly excited they do run the risk of being crumpled a bit.

Speaking of cardboard boxes: he is in love with the expanded cardboard box house HRH made for him. It’s getting wobbly because of the beating it’s taking from Liam trying to drag both parents inside at the same time, but it’s well-loved. He throws himself inside it and falls on top of the Thomas pillow that Matthieu, Karine, and Adam gave him for Christmas, and giggles infectiously. Toys collect there. The cats quite like it as well. We tore the house apart looking for Nix the other night, and just as we were giving up we finally caught a glint of light reflecting through the window from two tiny emerald eyes inside the playhouse, where she was perched on the pillow, all tucked up into a little loaf of black cat. Maggie plays with cracker crumbs and random small toys inside it. Cricket has, I think, been traumatized by the episode where Liam found her hiding inside it and tried to tackle her. (Well, everything else inside the playhouse is a toy; why isn’t she?) She shot out through one of the windows and we didn’t see her for the rest of the day.

The vocabulary has hit 85-ish words, and those are just the ones we remember and have written down. Last week there was ‘castle’, ‘photo’, ‘broccoli’, ‘omelette’, and ‘doctor’, among others. He doesn’t say colours yet (other than ‘yellow’ for some reason), but if asked where the red or green or blue car is, for example, his finger immediately shoots out and he points to it. He can say numbers one through three if we point to things in a line, with the added bonus of being able to say ‘seven’, but has no idea that they actually indicate an amount. ‘Airplane’ is accompanied by pointing upwards or out a window. He surprised HRH last night by looking up while being taken out of the car and saying “Stars!”. It was cold and clear, and yes, there were lots of stars. “You’re going to have to start messaging me with a list of the new words he says every day, so that I can keep up,” HRH said. This month also saw the first three-syllable words begin to show up in the lexicon.

He climbs on everything. It’s great to see him flop onto the chesterfield and pull himself up to sit down. It’s not so great to see him standing or bouncing on it, or climbing the bookcases, or standing on the coffeetable. This is the child with a penchant for head trauma, after all. He can go for walks, real walks, but it’s always a good idea to have the stroller or someone with strong arms handy. Also, pack lots of patience, because there are lots of side trips and close inspections of hedges and cracks in the sidewalk. He may finally have understood what mittens are for, after pulling them off in the cold car yesterday morning and complaining “cold!’ all the way to the caregiver. They stayed on today.

Every day I marvel even more at how capable he is at communicating, moving, playing, and eating. Every day he’s a little different, a little more advanced than he was the day before. Now he can use words to tell us if he doesn’t like something, we can offer him a choice between two things (no more open questions like “What do you feel like eating?” because “Cracker!” is not an acceptable meal), he can show us things, ask us things, and we can give him answers that he can understand. We can tell him what something is, and he will remember the word the next day or week and come out with it in a different situation, showing us that he can make a connection between two similar objects or actions. He walks around, carries things, moves things from one place to another, and has a very definite plan about it all. We can watch him think something through, and put down something he’s holding to pick up something else that he wants more (or, as he did the other day, take a book in his mouth to free up one hand to take a cracker, as he was carrying a truck that he didn’t want to relinquish in the other and wasn’t about to leave the book behind). Watching him problem-solve is an incredible experience.

Liam enjoys simple things, too, like watching snow, or turning a wooden train over and over to see how it looks from every angle, or simply leaning his cheek against one of the cats. He still tries to feed toys, and pictures in books, and all of us. Lots of tidying and sweeping and wiping up of crumbs and other boggan-like activity still going on, too. He likes to watch incense smoke as it spirals up in the air. He sometimes asks to be picked up so that he can point and talk to the deity statues — hello God, hello Goddess. Liam wanted to know what I was doing a week ago on the day of the full moon as I lit a candle at the altar, so I picked him up and explained that we were lighting a candle for the Goddess to say happy full moon day to her. He thought about it, then nodded very definitely and held out a slice of mandarin orange he had been about to eat. I put it on the altar for him and gave him a great big kiss and hug.

He’s a good boy.

Addendum: When we mention the word ‘chicken’, he says “bock bock.” “Liam would you like a chicken nugget?” “Bock bock.” “Do you think we should make some chicken fajitas?” “Bock bock.” “Maybe we’ll roast a chicken –” “Bock bock.” “– and make some mashed potatoes to drown in gravy, and something chocolatey for dessert, how does that sound? With some nice shiraz, or maybe a chardonnay?” “Yes. [Insert vigorous nodding here.] Bock bock.” And this clucking is uttered almost sotto voce. It figures: he finally understands that when one roars like a lion one really ought to do it loudly, and the newest animal sound to join the repertoire replaces it in the whispered category.

Quiet

The plan to “choose silence” and not waste energy on energy-absorbing things that don’t support a healthy mental and emotional environment continues apace. This means, by extension, that my commenting in general is going to decrease. If you’re one of my regular reads, it isn’t that I’m not reading your thoughts; I’m just not saying anything unless I can say something meaningful and say it right. One of my goals is to cut down on idle conversation, because I’ve observed lately by listening to others that it (a) consumes energy that can be better directed elsewhere, and (b) very often creates negative energy that gets spread around. And combating negative energy means using up yet more energy, perpetuating a vicious cycle. I want to spend more time thinking about the words I use, and that doesn’t make for very efficient light conversation. I’m also trying to cut down on the amount of negative energy I encounter, to further reduce the amount of stress in my life.

I still intend to use this journal to work things out, and to keep people up to date on what’s going on. Posting frequency has already decreased to a certain extent, as you may have noticed; it may decrease further, or it may not, as the plan requires.

Back

The weekend was less stressful than I expected, probably because I made the conscious choice to be alone, to focus on me and my thoughts instead of getting caught up in idle conversation. (Or, in the words of another on-line journaler, I “chose silence”. Ivy, was that you? I can’t find the reference now.) Among other workshops there were two lovely guided meditations, a peaceful ritual, and lots of time in my room journaling longhand and meditating about various challenges and stalled areas in my life. I discovered a whole bunch of things and made a couple of personal breakthoughs; now all I have to do is follow up on them, which is not so easy.

Liam had an excellent time with his local grandparents, who stayed with him while we were gone. Knowing that they had such a good forty-eight hours together has opened up a lot of possibilities for us.

Under The Wrapping

I’ve never been a big fan of the crazed mindset that seems to settle in around this time of year. Like Samhain, Yule is a time for quiet and reflection in my life. I get uncomfortable with lots of consumerism and fevered must-make-this-the-best-Christmas-ever sort of thing. I like quiet; I dislike stress and noise and crowds. Fortunately my husband and son seem to think along the same lines, and I’m fairly certain our parents are thankful for the moderation as well. Christmas is about being together and giving thanks for your blessings. (And I don’t have a problem calling it Christmas either, because it’s a celebration of family and prosperity and thanksgiving for us all, no matter what your spiritual path, and this season encompasses a good two weeks of various cultural/religious festivals.)

That being said, we were blessed several times over this Christmas day. Not only were my parents in town to spend two days with us, but HRH’s parents spent the 25th with us as well. There are new clothes for everyone in this house, and new books, and gift certificates, and lots of lovely chocolate. Under all that wrapping was a lot of joy and love, both on the part of the givers and the receivers, and that’s what Christmas is about for me.

Everyone who felt it necessary to give Liam a present gave him wonderful things with which to play or wear. So much so, in fact, that over half the toys have been put away to hand out one by one on rainy days — including, I must add, the Fisher-Price garage that was the main gift from HRH and myself. We never even brought it upstairs to put it under the tree. When he woke up we showed him the stocking that Santa had hung on his doorknob. He dragged it around for a while before dropping it in the middle of the living room floor while HRH and I had our morning coffee and tea. When we showed him that there were things inside he was fascinated. And the best thing that came out of it was a pair of socks with Lightning McQueen on them. (Yes, socks; I kid you not.) He walked around with them for a while before he brought them to me to put them on his feet, and then he’d stop randomly during the morning to bend over, pull up a pant leg, touch the graphic with wonder and say “car”. The socks beat out the magnetic drawing board and the ball, but were only narrow winners over the clementine orange.

Once everyone had arrived we all had more fun watching Liam open and play with his gifts than anything else, I think; we all tended to sit there with unopened gifts on our laps and watch him explore whatever he had last opened, because he did so with such pleasure and such focus. The two big gifts from the grandparents were the Fisher-Price pirate ship from the local set (which gave us the perfect opening to demonstrate some of that impressive lexicon: “What does a pirate say, Liam?” “Arrrrr!”), and an Indigo-Chapters Thomas the Tank Engine wooden track and train starter set from the Ontario grandparents (which has an exclusive little book boxcar that Liam has been carrying around all day today). The boy was wonderfully well-behaved all Christmas day, playing nicely with everyone, eating well enough with all the distraction, napping at and for the usual time, and staying fairly on schedule despite the company and out of the ordinary activity. He readily ate scraps of turkey from his Nana’s hand while HRH carved it, but when we all sat down he only ate a few bites of peas and potatoes and turkey before asking for pasta with gravy on it, then a cracker with gravy. And he ate an entire butter tart for dessert; my mother made special smaller ones with currants in them for him.

With Nigella as my co-pilot again, dinner was excellent. Next year I will cold-brine the turkey first thing in the morning and not overnight, because while it was tender and tasted lovely I found it had a bit of saline sharpness to it, although that didn’t seem to slow anyone else down. (It reheats splendidly, though.) My mother-in-law brought her delicious mashed potatoes, and my mother brought tins and tins of Christmas baking for dessert, and both of them brought seafood-based hors d’oeuvres. And everyone brought wine.

The only downside to the day was the lack of snow, and even that was remedied by this morning when I opened the curtains to find a steady, silent fall of thick fluffy flakes. (Well, HRH consecrating the new incredible carving knife we got as a gift by slicing right through a turkey bone and into his thumb was a bit of a downer too. “I’ve never seen a carving knife go right through a turkey bone,” he said in amazement as he held his thumb under cold water.)

It was a lovely day. It was wonderful to work in the kitchen and hear all four grandparents playing with Liam in the next room. Now that he’s older and travelling with him isn’t as much of a production, I’ve resolved to travel down to TO more often so that he can play with his Nana and Grandad more than a handful of times per year.


The unavoidable squeeing: I got books! I got the new Thomas Pynchon, and The Constant Princess, and the new Juliet Marillier! Liam gave me white gold hoop earrings, and HRH gave me pearl and diamond stud earrings that match the pendant he gave me last year! I got lovely, lovely clothes, and warm fuzzy chenille socks, and suede gloves, and a new red leather wallet to match my red shoes! < /squeeing>


Kino Kid, a friend whom I dearly love, has created a meme associated with the holiday season that is worthy of propogation, so take this and spread it far and wide.

A few of my favourite things:

The holidays are a time of positive and negative feelings, and some in between. Try to banish the negative ones. Write five positive, personal associations you have with the holiday season. A word will do – no more than one line each.

I enjoy the holiday season for these reasons:

1. People finally make time to sit down with friends and just enjoy their company. (Yes, it ought to happen more often; no, it rarely does. If the holiday season gives us a reason to finally *make* the time, then that’s a good thing.)

2. Watching people be happy about generosity, genuinely appreciating giving and receiving without obligation. (I think this is something some people never understand. You don’t have to gift someone, not even if they gift you. Gifting is about choosing to do it for the sake of doing something nice for someone else, no strings attached. For example, people were very thoughtful and generous to Liam this year, and I know they did it because they wanted to. We certainly didn’t expect them to!)

3. Seeing family I don’t get to see as often as I would like.

4. Creating joy and wonder for little ones.

5. Chocolate. (HRH gives all his Christmas chocolate to me. Isn’t he sweet?)

And the bonus association (yes, not only can I not keep it down to a single word or sentence, I have to add another slot):

6. Snow. (It gets on my nerves by mid-January, but in December I love it for the peace and cosiness it fosters.)


I keeled over asleep around four this afternoon and had an hour-long nap, and now I’m awake instead of sleepy. I intended to have a bath and then go to bed early but I lost track of time. And there was sushi, so I’m not competely to blame.

I’m off to bed to read until I fall asleep. I’m already a third of the way through The Constant Princess. I think it’s too late for a bath, although I reserve the right to change my mind between here and the bedroom.