Category Archives: The Boy

Turning In

I’ve just finished my second article for the next issue of the local journal and sent it off. Yay me. Yet again I am amazed at how much I know about a topic, and how superficial an examination must be in the space of 900 words.

Despite my cheerful optimism regarding orchestra last night, I had a really rough evening when I got there. It was a strings-only rehearsal, and we practiced every sequence that gave us trouble in the Haydn symphony for two hours. This means that we did a lot of work on the frustrating passages that are (naturally) challenging, and didn’t get the rewarding boost of playing the easier stuff in between. On top of that my fingers and my brain were not talking to one another last night and I just couldn’t get warm or count correctly, all of which conspired to make me play even worse than usual. I was so out of it by the end of the night that I missed every single entrance in the Handel bouree and couldn’t find a place to jump in before it was over. ADZO had shared an insightful chat earlier in the day with me regarding applying professional standards to everything one does, however, and that really went a long way towards me not feeling as despondent about rehearsal as I otherwise might have felt.

The boy had two shots this morning and got a bandage on each of them that the doctor then added little stickers to, a fire engine and a train to be precise. It was an excellent way to grab his attention and get him to stop the indignant crying. He also got a train sticker for his hand because he kept craning his head around to try to look at his upper arms, and he showed it to the five-month-old baby waiting his turn to see the doctor. He very helpfully took his medicare card from me and carried it into the office on his own for the nurse to check at the beginning of the appointment, too. He’s a good kid.

Tomorrow, the Friday plans which have been postponed twice will happen! But now, I have to try to get myself into a sleep-like headspace.

Battered

At least once a day Liam does something that hurts me enough to make me yelp at him. Some days it’s hitting my forehead with the corner of a wooden train as he whips around quickly. Others, it’s one of his booted feet stomping down with all his weight on my tarsals. Whatever he does usually leaves a bruise or a welt or a scrape. He doesn’t do it on purpose; it’s just collateral damage inflicted by a very enthusiastic twenty month old boy. It can be hard to remember that, however, when one is tired and cranky and short on patience.

Early this morning, he grabbed lightning-fast at the fresh hot cup of tea I held in my hand, which spilled down the neck of my sweater and left a burn line down my breastbone to my stomach. I put cold compresses on it and massaged in some lavender oil, but the red line remains. It’s not a severe burn or anything; still, it’s enough to twinge when my pullover rubs against it.

I know it wasn’t intentional. Nonetheless, after the first aid I had to go sit in another room by myself for a while and do some breathing exercises in order to calm down, and when Liam came charging in right away to see what I was doing I asked HRH to take him away to play somewhere else for a few minutes.

I need down time. I just never seem to get it, because there’s always something I have to be doing when Liam is with his caregiver or his grandma for a day. Any time winter wants to leave town would be fine, too, because it’s not helping.

I never did get a cup of tea this morning. I will go remedy that right now.

Imbolc Blessings

A full moon last night, or more accurately this morning, at 12:45.

I love the images of Imbolc: White pillar candle in a silver bowl of snow. Berries in the offering bowl. Brid’s crosses, half-woven by candlelight.

Imbolc for me is about ten days of honoring. A few years ago I realised that the actual second of February doesn’t resonate with me as much as the days following it. Like other sabbats, the changing energy that the festival honours doesn’t happen all at once on a single day; energy is in constant motion, of course, and the sabbat is a day set aside to observe that ongoing change and to examine how one is responding to it. There are very few sabbats for which I can do this in a single day, however, and so the day of the sabbat often represents the beginning of ten or so days of introspection and reconnection.

We did our Imbolc ritual after Liam’s dinner. He watched me scoop freshly fallen snow up in the silver bowl and put it on the altar, then place the candle in the centre of it and put the bowl of berries next to it as an offering. We lit it and talked to him about how even though it was very very cold and snowy, the earth was already thinking about spring deep inside. “Candle,” he said, pointing to it, so we talked about the importance of light and warm hearths in the home too, and how Brid helps us make our home a loving one. Then he decided he wanted berries, so we went back into the kitchen and he ate most of what was left over. The last one he held in his hand and thought hard. “Do you want to give that to the Goddess?” I said. He nodded and ran into the living room to stand in front of the altar, reaching his hand up as high as it would go. I lifted him up, and he pointed to the goddess statue we have. “Lady!” he said, and put the berry in the curve of her arms. He’s a natural.

I have some very welcome meditation and honouring planned during this upcoming week. And I’ll be making my Brid’s crosses again, once I find appropriate material. I have to check to see if the corn husks I saved and dried will work properly. I think they will, once I soak them a bit to make them pliable.

And as my contribution to this year’s Imbolc poetry web, this poem about light returning:

A Winter Dawn

Above the marge of night a star still shines,
And on the frosty hills the sombre pines
Harbor an eerie wind that crooneth low
Over the glimmering wastes of virgin snow.

Through the pale arch of orient the morn
Comes in a milk-white splendor newly-born,
A sword of crimson cuts in twain the gray
Banners of shadow hosts, and lo, the day!

~ Lucy Maud Montgomery, 1899

(Editor’s note: For some reason this didn’t publish last Friday night, and as this is the first chance I’ve had to sit down since then I didn’t notice until now. Fixed.)

Focus

I feel like I’ve been walking around asleep for the past two days, which is a bad thing. I couldn’t stop yawning last night at orchestra, and when I try to remember something from the past forty-eight hours my mind’s eye sees it through a sort of odd distorted filter. It’s just general exhaustion that has accumulated over the past ten days. Too, Liam seems to have recently developed an extra level of energy that makes being at home with him and keeping up with his antics that much harder, despite his ongoing awesomeness, as well as a new edge to his mood that pushes the limit of patience (both his and mine).

All I want to do is take a bath and go to bed (do you sense a theme in the last week’s worth of posts?). The preface needs to be finished before I can do that. A seven hundred and fifty word article. It’s 19h00 right now. I have a two-hundred word point-form outline. I can do this.

It’s probably a bad sign that I want to use my ‘Buggre Alle this’ icon before I’ve even begun working.

Rescheduled

Today’s plans were cancelled, alas, due to inconsiderate movie theatres not sticking to the schedule they posted two weeks ago (read: I didn’t double-check to confirm that things were being screened at the same time when I know movie schedules can shift weekly). While I’m disappointed, it does free up the afternoon to continue working on the tech review. I’m still going to have to work over the weekend, but not as much. And now I can look forward to the plans next Friday instead, with the new schedule.

I managed to review an entire chapter last night before I had to go take that bath and go to bed. An acceptable work rate, but I wish I could have done more before I reached the point of not being able to review in a focused and constructive fashion.

Liam seems all right; still has the nasal congestion, still clingy, and a bit cranky, but otherwise okay. He slept really well, thank goodness. I think I’m fighting not to catch the same cold.

I’m going to go heat up the leftovers from yesterday’s excellent dinner and keep working.

Ought To Be In Bed

All I want to do is take a warm bath and go to bed, but I have work to do. I only slept for five hours last night, so I was wiped by around midafternoon. My parents were in town, though, so I had a pleasant time chatting and cooking today. What with handling a work issue and writing important work email yesterday, having company today, and being out for half the day tomorrow, I must continue reading and tech reviewing at whatever hour I can. I’ll work until I need to stop tonight.

Liam woke up today with a cold. We pulled out the Triaminic right away this time and set up the humidifer. Despite being cheerful, the poor kid was a bit all over the place and out of sorts despite the fun company, and went to bed an hour early. Every once in a while I hear a sneeze or a hoarse cough from the bedroom. This is what I get for realising the other day that he hadn’t had a cold in a very long time. No, I didn’t say it aloud to anyone, but simply noticing seems to have tripped the balance of fate nonetheless. Also, we think the two year old molars may be beginning their movement. (Please, gods, no, but it’s possible considering the amount of chomping and drooling that has been going on.)

Back to reading and the tech review.

The Excitement Of Tuesdays

Not only have two boxes of books just arrived, but my new issue of Fine Cooking was in the mailbox too. Life loves me today. Of course, the doorbell woke Liam, but as he’s only been napping for an hour and a quarter I’ll see if he falls asleep again.

I went to bed with my copy of Northanger Abbey around eight o’clock last night and was asleep by 9:30 once I’d finished it. Naturally this means I woke up at 4 AM, and after trying to go back to sleep for half an hour I got up and worked for an hour and a half. I puzzled out some of what needs to happen next in Swan Sister, worked out some world-stuff, and sketched out a scene or two, then went back to bed around six for a while. It was my own fault for allowing myself to fall asleep too early, but I was just so tired for some reason.

I received a manuscript to review and for which to write a preface today, due back in a week. I’m two chapters into it already, which pleases me because I want to be able to really think about the preface. Not knowing exactly when things like this will be sent to me means I have to make sure the rest of my projects are scheduled in a flexible fashion. I’m glad I got so much work done on the WynterGreene articles yesterday; it takes some of the pressure off that might otherwise have built up when this MS was sent to me, because it naturally takes priority over whatever else is on the go. Fortunately I was also clever enough to start these articles in plenty of time, too.

No, the boy’s not going back to sleep. In fact, he’s singing. Back to parenting.