Category Archives: Spirituality

Spiritual Parallax

Okay, no one ever said spirituality was easy.

(How’s that for a one-line opener?)

No, seriously. If you think spirituality is easy, then you’re either a one-day-a-week organised religion-type who doesn’t think about it on the other six days, or you’re not trying.

Spirituality is all about trying to be better than you currently are. This automatically becomes difficult because of the following issues:

1) You’re constantly improving, so you always think the new stuff you’re learning is hard. Ever take piano lessons as a kid? The early skills you pick up become incorporated into your skill set and applied to subsequent learning. Problem is, we don’t see it. We keep starting new pieces of music, and they’re always hard. We never think that if we go back and play something we worked on a year ago, we’re much better than we were at the time. The same thing applies to spirituality. You work through an issue, it becomes part of you, you hit another issue, and all the time you’re saying, “Gosh, why doesn’t it get any easier?”

2) We tend to work through the same issues in a different context, and we don’t realise it until the lesson’s learned.

3) You can understand an issue with your head, but until you understand it with your heart and soul, it will still be an issue. (This is my Waterloo.)

4) Your needs change as you evolve and develop throughout life. This means that you can sometimes be working on an issue long after it’s past, not realising that you should be focusing on another issue. You’ve got to stay alert and sensitive to your own needs.

5) You can always be better. Always.

When you realise that spirituality is a daily thing, an expression of your relationship of whatever you consider the Divine, then two things happen: you understand that each action you make is spiritual, and you see that our innate laziness has made adherence to a one-day-a-week religion an easy way out. One of the reasons I follow a neo-Pagan path is because I have to do it all myself. No one else tells me what I ought to think, or interprets words for me, or that I’m forgiven. I have to struggle through it myself. Ultimately, this means that I learn the lessons on a much deeper level. It also means that the solution to the problem is intimate and personalised, so to speak.

It doesn’t, unfortunately, make it easy.

Lately, people have been talking to me about how blocked they feel spiritually, and I sometimes wonder if it’s because we think too much. We create our own obstacles; we choke up our own expressions of creativity and joy. We prefer to be miserable, because for some vague socialised reason, we believe we ought to be unhappy. We create exercises to “work” on our expression, our connection to the world around us. We “practice” our spirituality.

Whatever happened to being?

Maybe we ought to borrow Nike’s slogan of “Just Do It”. Or Yoda’s good old “Do or do not – there is no try.”

Live it. Breathe it. And congratulate yourself for every day you live, because you touched people somehow. You put words down on paper. You punched keys. You smiled. You daydreamed as you looked out the window. You made dinner.

Yes, you’re trying to improve yourself. However, saying, “I didn’t do what I dreamed I could do” does more damage than good. Positive reinforcement, in this case, is worth more than negative reinforcement. Being better doesn’t mean being unhappy. The old adage of “No pain, no gain” has no application here. Yes, we suffer, we deal, we’re stronger. That doesn’t have to happen every day, though.

Be thankful for the little things. Be open to the idea that yes, it can be easy. And stop making it harder than it has to be.

Just do it.

Random Religious And Literary Links

Found on a banner on a web page:

The Goddess is here, and She is organising.

Well, I laughed.

It’s on the interesting Christian Wicca page. Nope, I haven’t yet read it in entirety, but it’s nice to see that some people don’t think the two are mutually exclusive. Here’s an excerpt from an article entitled Christian Wicca: The Oxymoron Syndrome:

To be very honest, I am not the original person to set about Christianizing the practices and sacred Days of Power of The Wicca, Pagan religions, or any earth-based religions. As much as I would like to take credit for this – the Roman Catholic Church did this first. The Catholics are truly in many aspects the original Christian Wiccans or ChristoPagans.

Heh.

More oddness: S.A.L.V. (Slytherins Against Lord Voldemort). Aside from the spelling mistakes, it’s an intriguing idea.

Yes, Yes, You Love Me, Thank You

Oh, honestly, people – I’m frustrated, not on my deathbed.

But thanks go out to everyone who left comments, e-mailed, or called as soon as they got off-line and tied up my phone for two and a half hours. Heartfelt thanks. Ceri even called long-distance from her writing retreat in Lower Prospect.

I’d be even happier if it would rain, damn it – really rain, indicating a low pressure front coming through, to break this dreadful humidity. Maybe I’ll head over to the secondhand bookstore around the corner this afternoon to look for the Dorothy Sayers books Ginger recommended for me – that ought to incite the heavens to hurl water at me, especially if I wear a white shirt.

Keeping things in perspective, I recently began to read Frida: A Biography of Frida Kahlo. And I thought I had problems with my back, and with mild chronic pain! Now I just occasionally feel guilty while I read it, knowing that in comparison, my health is far superior to what hers was.

I spent seven hours yesterday writing a 36 page take-home final exam (those who know will know), and to my stunned and utter incomprehension, I am still not done. It’s maybe only 80% complete, but after yesterday, I need a day away from it.

End Of The Tour

This morning will be the last class to the current session of the eighteen-week intro course to alternative religions that I teach. (For those of you who are neo-Pagan and have a Thing About Payment For Anything Religion-Related, this is a survey course of info on various world religions, and does not teach craft itself. You have no idea how tired I am of explaining this.) This set of students is particularly special, and I’ll miss them. We won’t losing touch, of course; I’ll just miss hearing their opinions and thoughts, and watching them make connections between various mythologies and modes of thought from different cultures at different points in history.

I think that’s one of the most special parts of teaching: seeing the dots being connected, the illumination spreading across an individual’s face as s/he fits a bit of information into his/her world view.

It’s not for everyone, of course. There are hard parts too. Students come to you with problems, seeking guidance or the input of someone more experienced, and there are times where I freeze up and wonder how I got to this particular point, when I was assigned the position of mentor. What if the support I give is inadequate? What if I mistakenly point someone in the wrong direction? I know, I know; everyone has free will, and is responsible for their own choices. When someone places you in a position of trust, however, there’s a lot of responsibility that goes with it. (I have a feeling that very statement indicates an unlikelihood of misleading anyone; I take this too seriously. And somewhere out there, I know that MLG is saying, “You see? And you claim that you’re not a leader!”) Teaching is rewarding as well. I learn things from my students too – new information, new ways of connecting A and C (who says you have to go via B?), new points of view and opinions that in turn connect into my own web of thought and belief.

So, today’s the last class. I’m not quite sure how we got here so quickly, but there you are. I’m a little down about it.

Now I have to figure out how I’m to pick up groceries for tonight’s dinner, a parcel at the post office, and a birthday present, and still carry all my teaching textbooks, since my husband has taken the car to work today. And of course, my tea has gone cold.

BookMailLove!

Woo! Just got mail!

I absolutely adore getting mail – real mail, tangible mail, the stuff you have to open your real live mailbox to take out in your actual hands.

Unfortunately, I also love books.

Yes, these two passions mean that BookFinder is one of my guilty indulgences. I’ve been terribly, terribly good for the past half-year, being on a very tight budget, but recently I remembered that I was supposed to prepare a Religion, Science & Magic lecture for mid-December, and the book someone had lent me, well, belonged to someone else, which meant that I couldn’t mark it up as I wanted to. So, off to BookFinder I went, and ordered an ancient second-hand library-discard copy. It just arrived! Hurrah! However, in the meantime, various reschedulings mean that I will no longer in fact be teaching that class. Ah, the irony.

I still have a new book, though.

Kitten Love

I spent the day outside yesterday, from sunrise to welcome the Summer Solstice, to teaching my class outside, to a farewell picnic with good friends. It was glorious. I also received an early birthday present from Ceri, who’s heading off to Halifax for two months: a lovely lap desk with a tilting top, pencil trays, and a basket for books and such on each side. It’s the absolutely perfect height to rest my laptop on. I was so touched.

I woke up this morning around four AM, thinking I heard a cat in heat outside. I drowsed on and off for a couple of hours, hearing the cat, then fell asleep until a knock on our door just past eight woke me up. My husband answered it, and found our concierge with a tiny beige and grey mackerel kitten in his hands.

“This yours?” he asked. “It’s been out in the hall for hours, crying.”

When we told him no, he knocked on other doors to try to find where it belonged, but no one answered. He came back to ask for a bit of kitten food; he was going to put it in an empty room downstairs and lock it until he came back tonight, but I said, “Well, it’s so young; why don’t we keep it in the bedroom if you’re not going to be home? We have an extra litter box, and bowls, and I’ll be home all day so if someone sees your sign they can come knock right then. I’m sure they’re frantic.”

Well, after a stern warning that under no circumstances was I to fall in love with this kitten, my husband allowed her in. It’s now been five hours, and no one’s come to claim her. She’s adorable. She must have slipped out when someone came home late, or left really early. She’s fearless, and not upset at all. Mind you, if I’d been alone in a hallway for hours, crying, I’d be in love with whoever gave me water and pats too.

And I’m just over halfway through Order of the Phoenix. I can’t help reading it; it’s so smoothly written, and things lead from one to another… but I so want to make it last.

Hmm

I’ve been coding my articles to put up in the Read section of my new website, and you know, I don’t have a single piece of fiction that I feel comfortable posting publicly. This is not a good sign. I’ve been thinking about posting an excerpt from the half-finished Great Canadian Novel (officially 7/12 complete!), from my NaNo novel And By Many Other Names, and maybe that nameless fantasy thing I found on my laptop; but I haven’t written short fiction in years. Oh, sure, there’s that short story I wrote last week, but I realised a couple of days ago that there’s exactly one person on the face of this earth who would understand it completely. I can’t even let my husband read it, because it could ruin a role-playing game we go back to every once in a while.

So that’s frustrating. On the other hand, this morning I received an e-mail from someone whose opinion I value and who rarely compliments anyone. The message was a complete surprise and praised dedication, strength, and independence. A portion of that praise also came from a couple of other people who I’d pretty much do anything for, and it’s rather heady. That e-mail made my day; I feel as if I’m walking a few inches off the floor. (And to borrow a phrase from Skippy, “those who know will know”!)

You know, I did have a flash of a story idea as I was falling asleep last night. Maybe I’ll try doing something with that today.