Category Archives: Spirituality

Hearthcraft Book Update

Total word count, hearthcraft book: 31,038
New words today: 3,000

I would call this experiment of HRH taking the car and dropping the boy off on his way to work a success, yes?

(What I am actually screaming inside is, ‘PAST THE HALFWAY MARK! GO ME!‘)

I think we’ll try to split the driving days, so he only has to drive in twice a week and the boy doesn’t have too many nine-hour days at daycare. The caregiver has cheerfully agreed to add the boy to her regular Thursday crowd (bless her!) so I’m set for a four day writing week for the next six weeks. They won’t all be 3K days, of course. I was making a particularly determined effort today to hit the halfway mark.

More cauldron stuff, metals, fire as sacred, defining sacred and spiritual (that was first, taking a large chunk of the day, and wasn’t ultimately that much of the daily word yield, and it got me all muddled because really, how do you define that sort of thing?), and a ritual. I seem to be slogging around in the three introductory chapters, mainly because they define what the book and the path are all about, and a lot of it is vague and hard to pin down. Once they’re in some semblance of order I’ll be able to turn to the later chapters with a better footing.

Pizza as a reward tonight! As much as I would like it to be my homemade pizza I do not have meat or mushrooms for it. I’ll get some tomorrow with the general grocery order. For now, it is good order-in pizza. And I’m off to eat it!

Poetry Offering for Imbolc

I am somewhat late on the annual Imbolc post-a-poem-for-Brigid fest (but not really by my calculation, since the way I calculate things Imbolc began yesterday and carries through today, and indeed I celebrate it for about ten days), but here is my offering. It’s a wonderful poem that Pasley found and asked HRH to read at Tallis’ naming ceremony yesterday.


Advice from a Tree
By Ilan Shamir

Dear Friend,

Stand Tall and Proud
Sink your roots deeply into the Earth
Reflect the light of a greater source
Think long term
Go out on a limb
Remember your place among all living beings
Embrace with joy the changing seasons
For each yields its own abundance
The Energy and Birth of Spring
The Growth and Contentment of Summer
The Wisdom to let go of leaves in the Fall
The Rest and Quiet Renewal of Winter

Feel the wind and the sun
And delight in their presence
Look up at the moon that shines down upon you
And the mystery of the stars at night.
Seek nourishment from the good things in life
Simple pleasures
Earth, fresh air, light

Be content with your natural beauty
Drink plenty of water
Let your limbs sway and dance in the breezes
Be flexible
Remember your roots

Enjoy the view!

It was wonderful advice to give to an infant, and good for everyone to hear. (The ceremony was lovely; Tallis was the only one not crying. A success all round. More tomorrow.)

This poetry offering ties in to the ones being sponsored by Oak (who is carrying on the tradition begun by Reya), among others.

Hearthcraft Book Update

Total word count, hearthcraft book: 25,049
New words today: 2,048

That’s more like it. Now I’m where I want to be: past 25K and a day’s yield of 2K. I’m happy.

Having three days in a row to work really helps keep me focused. Adding the extra day at the caregiver’s every second week when the boy spends Friday with his grandma was brilliant. On these Fridays, HRH takes the car to work and drops Sparky off en route. This helps me immensely, as all I have to do when I get up is make tea, have some toast, help get them out the door, and then sit down to work. I get to the computer around two hours earlier than I usually do on this day because I don’t have to head out to the caregiver’s and run whatever errands need to be run on the way home, and the workday is longer because I don’t have to stop writing at four-thirty, when I’m on a roll.

I’m feeling a lot better about the project. I can see that it will really start to coalesce over the next couple of weeks. I’ll feel even better once it’s vaguely recognizable as a book, instead of a collection of unconnected thoughts and uneven sections.

Yay me.

Hearthcraft Book Update

Total word count, hearthcraft book: 23,001
New words today: 1,168

Close to the original magic number of 1,200, although far from the 1,600 I’m now using as my daily goal, and even further from the 2K I was secretly hoping to hit today to really get me going again. I’m very fortunate that the boy’s caregiver can take him an extra day every two weeks, giving me three days in a row to work twice a month.

Still: over 23K. That’s good, that’s good. There’s a world of difference between being one-third done at 20K, and half-done at 30K.

It’s been ages since I’ve had to teach anyone about wards. Gah. All my words on the subject are mysteriously AWOL and I’m left kind of waving my hand in the air at the monitor, saying, “You know, it’s like, well, that.” The fibro-fog I’ve been working in doesn’t help. An article I was reading on fibro today politely called it ‘impaired concentration/comprehension’, which is a very nice way of saying ‘I’m out of it and can’t keep track of a thought for more than a moment or two’. I’m told it takes about a week to get used to the medication that I begin taking tonight. I’m really, really hoping my brain sharpens up after that period of adjustment and I’m back to where I need to be.

My Morning, By Me

Today’s excitement: having my car key snap off in the trunk lock as I prepared to load the car with a shopping trip’s worth of stuff.

Yes! So exciting! Liam and I called friends who used to have an extra copy of our car key, but they were not home. We called HRH to apprise him of the necessity of picking the car up on his way home from work, and then my phone died a messy death (it can’t hold a charge worth beans, but I am not complaining because it was second-hand, inexpensive, and has served me well for almost a whole year). Then we liberated the emergency umbrella stroller that languishes in the back of the car, covered the major purchases with the car blanket, made sure the immediate necessities and little things were in pockets or bags, locked up the car, and took the bus home.

Naturally, the freezing rain began halfway across the parking lot.

Luckily, Liam thought the whole thing a grand adventure, partially fuelled by my animated “Want to do something really cool? Let’s take the bus home!” pitch. And then we stopped in at a gas station on our fifteen-minute trek to a bus stop to buy a granola bar as a treat, and he was thrilled about that too. (It was an excuse to break the five dollar bill in my wallet to have sufficient change for the bus). He had been very well-behaved during our department store experience, walking next to me and holding my hand; I was very impressed. He’s on the verge of being too big for the seats in shopping carts, so learning how to walk while we shop is a good thing. His good mood made things easier to handle. So did the not-crowded bus. I don’t think I’ve ever been on a bus that empty on that route.

There is irony involved in all this, too. We went out to buy a new microwave, as the one we have been using by the grace of Tal for the past two years mysteriously ceased functioning last night. (Don’t worry, Tal, if/when you require a microwave oven again, we will replace it for you.) I was punching in a time when the lights went out and that was that — no crackles or sparks or warnings of slow death. I am mystified. It is currently in the garage while it thinks about the error of its ways (let’s call it a time out for appliances). We don’t use the microwave for anything other than reheating tea, warming up milk or leftovers, or defrosting meat that’s being stubborn, so the one we got is tiny and only 700 watts. And the irony of having gone out to buy the new microwave is that we cannot use it, as it’s sitting covered by the blanket in the back of the locked car of a parking lot at the other end of town. I discovered this when I went to warm up Liam’s pasta and veggies for lunch.

I also need a new car key, and HRH will need to get the snapped-cleanly-level-with-the-lock key out. Issues for tomorrow.

But the day is not a wreck (not that it was in any danger of being one, it wasn’t as huge a disaster as it could have been… I could have accidentally locked the passenger side car doors after buckling Liam in and then snapped the key), because the copy of the Druid Plant Oracle that I ordered from the UK arrived while Liam was eating lunch. It will not be available in North America until August. I win.

Also, when Liam watches the opening credits to the Muppet Show, he sings the final “SHOOOOOOOOW!” along with the cast, hilariously off-key.

That is all.

Pagan Book Meme

Via The Sacred Space, a few months ago, to be honest. I’ve only just found the draft and finished writing the post. I am work-avoiding, you see.

How many Pagan oriented books do I have?

Lots. At last count I had around four hundred; there’s bound to be more. I’ve been weeding books out lately, to pass on to a local Wiccan lending library.

What’s the last Pagan book I read?

Eliade’s The Sacred and the Profane. A lot of my pagan books focus on religious subjects and cross-path study. If you were expecting something a little more ‘traditionally’ Neopagan, the last book of that kind was John Michael Greer’s The Druidry Handbook. (It occurs to me that I should get back to posting my pagan book reviews on-line, once they’ve been published in print.)

What’s the last Pagan book I bought?

The Eliade, I think. I’m pretty sure, anyhow. The Greer had been on my shelf for a few months.

List three Pagan titles with special or personal significance.

Oy. Well, there’s Hutton’s The Triumph of the Moon, which demonstrated to me that there were people who could examine modern Wiccan and associated paths with a serious academic approach, instead of the superficial revisionist histories or fawning sycophantic blinkered versions you usually find. Grey Cat’s Deepening Witchcraft was thought-provoking and personally revelatory for me when it came out. And John and Caitlin Matthews’ The Western Way duology did a lot of good things for my perception of land and ancestry when I read it a few years ago.

If you were to write a Pagan book, what would the title be?

Heh. I’m not bothering to answer this one; the publisher changes all my titles anyway…

Thirty-One Months Old!

Liam talks pretty much non-stop, building sentences upon sentences with if/then thought processes, and words that we haven’t heard before pop out all the time along with familiar words in different contexts, especially similes. The word thing is hard sometimes for everyone, though. “Okay, Liam, it’s time for the ritual,” we said at the Yule gathering. “We go to the airport?” he said, picking up his car and looking at the door. We puzzled over the airport question for a while until we realized that he heard ‘the ritual’ as ‘dirigible’. He was moderately disappointed when it ended up being a circle with a candle and some poetry, although there were oranges at the end of it which were kind of cool. Liam was old enough to really have fun this Christmas. Somewhere around the time we put up the tree, he clued in to the Santa thing. He stood in the middle of the room and looked at me with huge eyes. “Santa… going to be in my house!” he said. It was like he’d suddenly understood that a rock star was going to walk in to the room and breathe the same air. For days after Christmas he’d wake up and ask us eagerly, “More presents?” And it wasn’t annoying, because he really truly loved everything he opened each day from Yule well into the end of December. They just kept coming from different people.

On our doctor’s advice we got him a play doctor’s kit, and he was involved with it right away. “Oh, what this? What this?” he said, pulling tool after tool out of the little white box, and we explained each of them to him. He put the stethoscope around his neck and looked up with pride. “Look, I Doctor Liam! I listen to your heart? I look in your ears?” Everyone’s ears were thoroughly inspected, even Maggie’s. He produced his ophthalmoscope at his last doctor’s appointment to look in her ears, but quickly abandoned it when he saw that hers had a real window and a light in it. He casually tried to leave with it, too, but we caught him.

No matter how much of a game we make that air mask, there are tears and protests, although they get shorter every time. Even while crying he will clap and say, “Yay, Mama, you did it” when we’ve finished and I’ve whisked it away from his face. It’s kind of heartbreaking to hear him encourage me while he sobs. In a moment of inspiration HRH gave him the old ones to play with (minus the actual canisters of medication, of course). Right away Liam was handling it and putting it over his face and breathing in like a pro, then administering it to Little Liam, AKA Kid Canada (the soft boy doll he received as a Christmas gift from the Preston-LeBlancs). It would seem that his problems with the thing are that (a) we make him do it instead of it being his choice, and (b) he can’t operate it by himself. The old mask and inhalers are now an official part of his doctor’s kit.

Catalogues and toy flyers are some of his favourite things. “Oh, what car do you like?” he asks, perusing a list of toys, and when you answer he says, “Otay, we go get it now?” Sneaky! When cuddling with him the other night after his asthma attack, he felt for my hand and gently slipped one of his favourite cars into it. “Here,” he said tenderly, “you can hold Doc.” It touched my heart.

He’s such a goof. Sometimes he’ll lean in for a kiss then lick us instead, wriggling away and giggling madly. He suddenly announced that he was a kitten the other day, asking us to tie a tail onto his belt loop and then crawling around on all fours. He spins in place, then stops and throws his hands out, staggering and saying, “Oh, I so diiiiiizzy.” He thinks blowing raspberries on Maggie’s fur is hilarious. The amount of pretending has shot through the roof. “I so-and-so,” he’ll say, “You such-and-such. Let’s play!” In the car he’s either silent or has a full-time running commentary on what’s going on. “Tunnel coming! There a bridge! Look, a truck, where it going?” Every once in a while when we come to a stoplight he’ll point in a random direction and say, “We go… THAT way!” I’m tempted to let him navigate someday when the weather is nicer, just to see where we end up. He also likes to snatch my glasses off the bridge of my nose and put them on, then walk around looking at the floor saying, “I see everything broken!” (Not something we encourage, let me tell you.)

New sayings include “Just a sec!” and “I have a big idea!” The other day I was trying to get him to do something and he said, “No! Wait! I have to dance!” And he went to the middle of the room and danced for a bit, then came back and did whatever it was I was trying to get him to do. It was hilarious. He will also sometimes say, “Mama, you so pretty” or “Dada, you look so cool!” unprompted when we change clothes for some reason. On the other hand, he has further developed on the idea of commanding people to stop singing. “No! No singing!” he will say if I hum or sing along to something. Now it’s gone further, and he will say, “No! No dancing!” if we bop our heads in time to music. It was tough around Christmas because I play a lot of jazz-based seasonal CDs. He said, “No no, Mama, no singing, no dancing!” while his grandparents were here, which prompted my mother to say, “What is he, Presbyterian?” (A reference, of course, to the Calvinist outlawing of song and dance. We howled together over that one for a while.)

He is very aware of people’s emotional states now. “You sad?” he will say, or “You happy!” in response to tone of voice or body language. We were reading Beatrix Potter’s The Roly-Poly Pudding the other day and I had to dial down my acting because he was getting very upset listening to me read the distracted Tabitha Twitchett, looking for her kittens while being sure the rats had eaten them. Even when I deliver certain storybook lines with no emotional inflection whatsoever, he will look up at me and say, “You mad”, or “You happy now” and be right according to the story. He asks us to read a lot, and we’re fine with that. He’s begun changing the names of characters in stories too, to match members of the family. “That not Tom Kitten, that Maggie,” he will say, and for the rest of the book the character must be called Maggie or he will correct whoever is reading. He will point to the main character and identify them as Liam, their parents or other adult figures as Mama and Dada, and if you slip and read the actual name on the page you are gently but firmly reprimanded. (Our favourite rewriting is of The Paper Bag Princess, where Liam replaces Princess Elizabeth.) Last night Mittens, Moppet, and Tom Kitten were Nixie, Cricket, and Maggie respectively.

On Christmas day when I was almost finished making dinner, he came into the kitchen and asked to play with me. “I’m busy now, but look, you can hide in here,” I said, and lifted the edge of the linen tablecloth. He dove under the table and chuckled a lot, then went and collected a couple of cars and HRH to play under there with him. Playing under the table had never occurred to him before, but suggesting it once was enough. Now he likes to take his after-meal fruit under there with him. He tries to negotiate having dinner there too. His current favourite foods are chicken nuggets, smiley fries, scrambled egg, bananas, apples, warm milk with a couple of drops of vanilla extract in it, and chocolate milk. He quite likes old-fashioned banger sausages, too. Rice and corn are always hits, as are carrots.

This past month he was (re) introduced to the memory of Gulliver. HRH has a little ornament of a ginger cat wearing a witch’s hat and sitting on a pile of books. Liam grabbed for it when HRH put it on the tree, and HRH caught his hand. He explained that it was very special to him, and that it was a statue of Gulliver. Liam didn’t know who Gulliver was, so I found the photo of HRH with Gully on one knee and a four-month-old Liam on the other. After pointing at the baby and saying it was Tallis, he scrutinized the cat and said, “Where he go?” We explained that Gulliver had gotten sick, and had died. Liam wanted to hold the picture so I printed one out for him, along with another photo of Gully and Nixie curled up asleep in Liam’s Moses basket. He calls him ‘Guviller’, and pets the photos. He wanted the ornament, so HRH hung it up in his room for him, where ‘Guviller’ can watch over him as he sleeps. When we decorated the house for Christmas he wanted lights in his room too, so HRH pulled out all sorts of lights for him to choose from… but Liam found a string of pumpkin lights we use at Hallowe’en and insisted on them. So he had pumpkin lights in his room over Christmas, and ‘Guviller’ was hung from them.

Apart from death he asked about war this past month, and I had to try to explain it in terms that a two year old could understand. I was so choked up about the wrongness of having to teach a preschooler about war that I don’t remember what I said. Something about how sometimes people don’t agree about very big issues, and they send people and machines to fight one another, and the people who aren’t fighting have to run and hide from planes and such. What do you say to a preschooler who asks what war is? What can you say?

I haven’t a clue.