Category Archives: The Boy

Hanging In

Day two of unidentified stomach bug. I had to cancel my appearance at a lunch with friends, which disappointed me a lot because I’m going stir crazy being at home right now. I was so desperate for interpersonal communication that I sat on the steps and chatted with the mailman this morning. Thanks for the good wishes both here and via phone and email, everyone. Toast again this morning, and soup for lunch. I’m not dead yet, so I’m cautiously optimistic. Mind you, I was cautiously optimistic last night too, and woke up just as sick as I’d been the day before. We shall see. I’m done my work for the evening, so I can go to bed two and a half hours earlier than I’ve done the past two days.

The urgent project I accepted Tuesday at noon is back in the hands of the client after twenty-eight hours of insane editing, so I’m working on the more relaxed first project again. The urgent client has been told that I’m not going to be available again for a week if they need me, and I wrote a three-page memo outlining all the changes and suggested revisions/solutions to the problems involved so whoever picked it up next would have as much information as possible at their disposal, which took me two hours to do. There’s nothing like an insane urgent deadline to really refocus perspective on a regular project again, particularly when the pace had kind of slowed down on it. Of course, I have to put in some work over the weekend to make up for the two days eaten by the urgent project, but I seem to be moving through it at a very good clip, which is encouraging.

I’m glad it will be over next week, though; I miss the boy, and I know he misses us too, as much as he adores his caregiver. Today’s new word was ‘supernatural’, heard in a Rough Traders song. There is no telling what word he will hear and instantly take a liking to, to use as he pleases.

To my vague astonishment we will be seeing various people over the weekend, if only for a short time each, which will temporarily assuage my need to reconnect with the outside world. There may be Penguin bars and Fry’s chocolate tablets involved. There will certainly be corn, if I can swing it.

Not Normal

So just when I think I’m ahead on this work thing, an emergency arises on the project I worked on last spring. Guess what I’m doing for the next eighteen hours? Good thing I’m well along on the other project and it’s only due next Tuesday. Also good that I got a lot of sleep last night. Not as good: the fact that I have been downing Excedrin Extra Strength With Codeine for a persistent headache.

But that is not why I am posting! I am posting to share this:

SPARKY: Bye bye, Leo eating cricket bugs!

[Leo is a leopard-patterned fat-tail gecko who lives with the caregiver. He dines upon crickets. The boy says goodbye to him every day before he leaves.]

HRH: Um. How many words was that?

CAREGIVER: [counts] Six.

[There is a pause.]

CAREGIVER: He’s not normal. I love him, but he is not normal.

Wistful

I find myself wishing that the boy was just a year or so older, so that we could creep into his room around ten o’clock on Friday night, wake him up, and whisper to him that we were going out for a midnight adventure to the bookstore. This is the last Potter book, and I’ve never attended a midnight launch party for various reasons. I’m a bit wistful; this particular event will never happen again. Liam would love this sort of thing, with people in costume, and music, and really just his favourite bookstore at midnight would be enough to be the coolest thing ever for him.

I would even let him bring his broom, to which he can say “Up!”. He could meet Fearsclave, and Cymry, and Meallanmouse, and whoever else will be there of our acquaintance. His sleep schedule would be off for a couple of days, but I think it would have been worth it. But he is not a couple of years older, and so, alas, it will not happen. And I’m more wistful on his account than my own. (Because let’s be realistic, the reason I’ve never gone to a midnight launch is because I’m paralyzingly shy, as well as mildly enochlophobic and agoraphobic [in the true sense of the word].)

Ah, well. We will go out to our local bookstore together on Saturday morning and get a copy of book seven. I intend to drop off a treat or something for the employees on shift, too, probably mini cinnamon rolls from the Saint-Cinnamon counter or a bag of Ghirardelli chocolate. Their day is going to be mildly insane, and I so appreciate them; they’re always cheerful and smiling and they never brush me off or pressure me when we browse. And having worked events in bookstores I know that things can start to grate, and one feels as if one has become somewhat invisible or non-human to the attendees. So kudos and thanks in advance to all bookshop employees; hang in there Friday night and over the weekend. You are all stars.

Love

This morning we were getting Sparky ready to head over to his caregiver’s place as usual. Every day he chooses a beloved toy to take with him, usually just something to snuggle with when he goes down for his nap, but sometimes he wants a car or a train to play with during the ride too. Today he had two engines for car play, one in each hand, and I had him up on my hip in preparation for carrying him down to the car. (Yes, of course he can get down the stairs and walk to the car himself, but he is also two, and there is an entire exciting world of grass and trees and flowers and dirt and spiders between the door and the vehicle, and a schedule that must be kept.)

A: Who do you want to take with you today? Buzz? Bun-Bun?

BOY: Take Mama.

He patted my shoulder and I held him pretty tightly, thinking about how much I love this kid. He waved and blew me kisses as he and HRH drove away, and I was still choked up.

He came home with us two years and five days ago, the day after my birthday. That night the Preston-LeBlancs brought us excellent take-away Szechwan and a whole delicious bakery chocolate cake, and we all sat in the living room and marveled at him and at how precious life is.

I am thankful for family, chosen and otherwise, and the miracle of children, and for the opportunity to watch my son grow and learn and laugh and run, and love.

Twenty-Five Months Old!

Happy twenty-five months old, Liam. Your caregiver just called me to tell me that you’d jammed an inch-long chunk of carrot up your nose, which required tweezers to remove. Any further in and it would have been a trip to the emergency room to get it taken out. Now you’ve done it, and we’ve had the experience, and we can move along richer for the wisdom gained. Yes?

Somewhere around his second birthday his lower two-year-old molars came in. He’s been insisting on brushing his teeth alone and refusing the parental once-over that used to follow, so I don’t know when exactly they showed up. We discovered them on Monday, as we can get the toothbrush into his mouth for the full cleaning instead of him just brushing the front, because we came up with the brilliant idea of bringing the toothbrush into his room to brush while he watches his fish. They look pretty settled and they’re well through the gums, so they’re not new. Now we’re waiting on the upper set.

Speaking of the fish, the mollies have spawned. We had fourteen extra fish in the tank one morning, which have now settled down to seven babies, some dark, some silvery. We lost the adult leopard mollie around the same time, alas. Still; losing one adult, gaining seven babies… it’s a novelty to come out ahead on the fish count. “See baby fishes!” is Liam’s newest phrase that he’s doing to death. He stands on his toy chest and presses his nose against the aquarium for ages at a time; he holds various toys up to see the fish. He hugs the tank. “Hug fishes,” he says happily.

He talks and talks and talks, and is clear and articulate enough that we can understand him ninety percent of the time. He says ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ without prompting about half the time now, and is using ‘you’re welcome’ more frequently. He’s started using possessives and including the words ‘the’ and ‘in’ in his sentences. And if I wear a skirt or a dress, Liam says, “Pretty Mama.” It’s good for the ego.

He’s currently immersed in the world of Beatrix Potter and enjoying it. “Mice?” he’ll say when he wants to read or watch some. “Bunnies?” We picked up a collection of animated Beatrix Potter episodes, and they’re lovely and relaxing to watch at the end of the day. (Even when there is death and nature red in tooth and claw going on. There’s a lot of that in Beatrix Potter. Rabbits may wear shoes and coats, and mice may wear Baroque clothing, but cats still chase them, and farmers still eat bunnies, and rats still try to kill kittens. Okay, they plan to make them into roly-poly puddings, but that’s cooking the kitten, people.) He’s old enough to pay attention to the books now, much to my delight. Hearing him say, “Flossy… Mossy.. Cot-on-tayul… Pee-tah!” when we read makes me laugh.

We’re working on the sharing and the concept of turns. Someone picked up a truck he was playing with at daycare the other day and he burst into tears. “Let him have a turn,” we encouraged Liam. “Please?” he said to his playmate through his tears. The playmate pulled the truck a little closer, and Liam broke into a fresh bout of tears. You could see him struggle with the injustice: “But I said please! I said please, and he didn’t give it back to me! The world isn’t fair!

It was interesting to watch him playing with/alongside Matthieu last weekend. Matthieu is sevenish months older, with an appropriate command of language and a very clearly defined concept of ‘mine’. Liam is used to running around happily and playing with whatever is there, so he was a little startled when Matthieu took some toys away from him and told him severely that these were his toys, and Liam wasn’t to touch them. It was an eye-opener for Liam to realise that other people felt defensive about certain possessions, the same way he felt defensive about certain toys of his own. Later, Liam picked up Matthieu’s extra-special Monkey and carried him over to Matthieu, which was his way of indicating that Liam understood Monkey was important to him. Matthieu asked for ketchup and mustard on his hamburger later that afternoon and because Matthieu did, Liam did too. Liam has demonstrated in the past that he’s not a fan of either condiment, but he ate half the bun with traces of both on it, and some bites of the burger too. (HRH had to sit him on his lap and feed him little bites, but he ate it. Hey, there were Thomas toys he’d never seen before in the next room; Thomas trumps dinner every time.) He picked half a pork chop up off my plate at dinner last night and tore into it, ignoring the bits I’d cut up for him on his own plate. His use of forks and spoons is really impressive too.

Playground visits consists of climbing stairs, sliding down the slide, running around to climb up and slide down, repeat ad nauseum. Every once in a while he tests physics by trying to climb the slide. “Would you like to play on the swings?” we ask. “No!” he pants as he runs by with a grin on his face. Why? There’s a slide right here. It might as well be the only piece of playground equipment that exists in Liam’s world. He even said “Excuse me” to a girl who was in the way by the stairs last weekend. He plays Ring Around the Rosy too, often by himself. He is particularly fond of the “Ashes, ashes, all fall — down!” bit, doing deep knee bends followed by throwing himself flat on his stomach. His songs are becoming clearer and clearer.

He expresses very satisfying joy when we say we’re going to the bookstore. “Bookstore! Bookstore! Liam bookstore!” he carols. Then when he gets there he’s even more excited, because the bookstore we usually go to has a Thomas train layout in the children’s section. (Next time we go I will smuggle in some glue, though, because there is a broken train on the layout that distresses Liam terribly; he keeps bringing it to me and saying “Mama fix, Mama fix it”. Also around his second birthday, he clearly began calling the No. 1 blue engine ‘Thomas’ instead of ‘Ati’.) I love that he gets excited about the bookstore and about books. I love that he loves life, that he does everything with enthusiasm and evident enjoyment. He has his two-year-old moments where he kicks and screams because something hasn’t gone according to his plan, but it’s an opportunity to communicate with him and ask him to express in words what it is that he is feeling, and what it is that he wanted to happen instead. We’re learning to choose our battles, too. It’s not a big thing if he wants to stand in the tub while it fills for his bath. The crisis that will be created if we refuse is a much bigger thing, and something none of us need. He’s challenging us to rethink why we do things a certain way. Change can be good; doing something in a slightly different order can be refreshing. And at the same time, the comfort of a regular routine is soothing and reliable, and provides structure for the day and for our worldviews.

When he’s very upset, sometimes he asks us to light a candle. Picking him up and holding him so he can see, we do, and we say, “Thank you God, thank you Goddess, for my day, and for making the world so pretty, and for people who love us.” “Thank you, God and Goddess,” he echoes, and watches the candle for a while.

Life is good.

Coffee Break

Hurrah, more thunderstorms! I love thunderstorms: I’ve got windows open to smell the water and wet earth as well as to hear the rain. The storm and Yo-Yo Ma playing Ennio Morricone are providing my work soundtrack today.

I now know the difference between an Axel, a salchow, and a toe loop. What I’m not clear on is why Axel takes a capital but salchow does not. Axels are named after Axel Paulsen, and salchows are named for Ulrich Salchow (heck, even loops are formally called Rittbergers although you never hear the term), so why aren’t both capitalised?

This morning at breakfast:

LIAM: Mama sitting in Dada’s chair.

AUTUMN: [counts the words in the sentence and notes the use of the word ‘in’] Er, yes. Yes, I’m sitting in Dada’s chair.

LIAM: Dada! Come sit! Come sit in Mama’s chair, Mama in Dada’s chair.

And yesterday, we met a lovely cinnamon-coloured rabbit on our back porch. He lives next door and is called Switch, although Liam called him Peter while feeding it his raisins and giggling when the bunny tickled his hand with his nose. The neighbours were nowhere in sight but their back door was open, so we assumed it was theirs although we had no notion they owned a rabbit. HRH did track them down later though to make sure (a) the rabbit was allowed outside, and (b) that it was okay for it to wander over to our deck and visit with us. It’s very sweet and easy-going, and Liam adored it. It was nice for him to be able to pet something, seeing as how he can’t exactly cuddle his fish and the cats are avoiding him these days as he has been attempting to pick them up by handfuls of fur.

Back to editing the script. Break’s over.

Noooooo!

We’re halfway through Pan’s Labyrinth. The DVD suddenly started degrading fifteen minutes ago, and now it hangs and jumps chapters.

HRH is making an emergency run to Blockbuster, because there’s no way you can leave a film like this half-watched.

Dress rehearsal today left me kind of glum and in that “why do I bother” headspace. I had to ask my section principal if my intonation had sucked as much as I thought it had, because I spent the entire two and a half hours feeling as if I was struggling to blend. When I can’t grab onto the proper tuning I end up skating all over the place, unable to settle down and be focused enough to play with the music instead of against it. She (lovely woman!) said that she hadn’t noticed anything, and I believe her; she’s one who would absolutely point out something wrong. I made her promise to tell me if ever I did anything wonky anyhow. The brass sounded almost too bright to my ears today, and it felt as if their sound waves and the string waves were fighting against one another. I couldn’t settle into the string flow properly and fought against those crashing waves all morning, missing entrances, shifts, easy fingerings, and rhythm stuff. On the up side I came home really wanting to play cello all afternoon to make it all better and to remind myself that the instrument can sound pretty, but instead Liam and I went for a walk, played on the slide at the park for half an hour (it got to the point where I just stayed up in the fort part and let Liam slide down, run around the structure, climb up the stairs on the other side, run past me, grab the horizontal bar set above the slide to swing out and slide down again all on his own, chatting with him as he narrated his actions excitedly) then we played in our backyard for ages because it was such a lovely day.

HRH just pulled up. Off to finish the movie!