Category Archives: Art, Theatre, & Film

Defeated

Beethoven won.

The Ninth is going to sound fantastic. I don’t think I’m going back for the Bruckner Mass in F minor in May, though. I just can’t keep up; I’m not good enough. It’s been a terrific challenge, but I don’t have the time to devote to Cantabile as well as chamber orchestra. Besides, they’ve scheduled the four Bruckner rehearsals on Sunday afternoons yet again, and I’m tired of having to miss or skip out halfway through classes I’m supposed to be teaching.

I know I have a bad habit of underestimating my talents and skills, but last night’s rehearsal was embarrassing and depressing. The technical expertise required in the fourth and first movements are just beyond my current abilities. The entire section agrees that the technical challenge is above what they’re usually called on to do (and I can just imagine what Beethoven’s musicians must have said to him), but they still manage to pull off a significant percentage of the required work. I feel clumsy and klutzy, and I wonder what I’m actually contributing to the orchestra. Too often I lose my hold on what I’m doing and end up sitting there helplessly, trying to figure out where the heck we are, and where I can next come in with some sort of confidence.

There’s a difference between undervaluing yourself, and knowing that you’re just not quite good enough. If I had the luxury of time to really focus on working the music, I might stay on. With my schedule the way it is, however, I think it’s better all around if I focus my energies on chamber orchestra, teaching, and the slew of editing work.

I gave this a really good shot, and I’m proud of the fact that I did it. I adored the Puccini, and the Elgar was a bear but I mostly pulled that off too. I think back to how I felt when I joined chamber orchestra, and I stuck through that because my awkward playing was due to nerves and being tremendously shy. The technical challenges are different there (chamber vs symphonic!), and I do really well. I passed the nerves and new-girl shyness quite a while ago in Cantabile. I know I’m not where I ought to be in order to perform adequately.

It’s been fun, though. And the actual performance of the Ninth will be phenomenal, despite my fumblings.

*sniff*

It hasn’t been an easy week. Today’s “I-can’t-believe-this” moments included the discovery that the author of this MS left out about fifteen pages of text and rituals here and there — just never wrote them. Guess who picks up the slack?

The good news is that they extended my deadline to Tuesday (because Monday is President’s Day!), and thank goodness, because I had no idea I’d have to get this creative. Someone’s evidently looking out for me on this project, because I have all Monday to do it now. All the impressive work I’ve been pulling off has garnered me a nice break. (Look — karma in action!)

Anyways, HRH just came home and handed me a Kim Possible valentine and a box of hand-made chocolates with a big grin. “You didn’t have to do that,” I said, melting completely. (First over the Kim Possible Valentine – you have no idea how much of a kick I got out of it — and then the chocolate.) “I know,” said HRH. “But you’ve had a hard week.” He knows how disgusted I feel about artificial celebrations like Valentine’s Day, which are pushed by commercial operators and socialise people to think that being part of a relationship is the Right Thing and expected of everyone. Spending money doesn’t make you any more special to someone. Sure, it’s nice to be spoiled sometimes, but I’d prefer to be spoiled on an occasion of HRH’s choosing. Although the laugh’s on me this year – apparently it’s fun to give me stuff when I don’t expect it, and since I don’t expect anything on Valentine’s Day, well…

In fact, I got two Valentines today. The first was from my goddaughter, which was simply adorable. I have both of them pinned up on my bulletin board.

Dress rehearsal for the Beethoven tonight. Let’s hope all goes well.

Quote of the Evening:

On the structure of a Haydn symphony:

Ceri: I get it! It’s four twelve-minute pieces of music, not one fifty-minute piece of music! And each separate piece builds on the last ones until it all gets to one end!

I love being with people when they figure something like this out. The excitement is catching. It was just what I needed on the drive home.

Edited to reflect a different emphasis Feb 9, 9:42 am. And that pesky word “not” was shifted as well.

So Tired…

I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck.

When I look back over the weekend, I wonder how I survived it. (The likely answer? Sugar. But I digress.)

Chamber orchestra rehearsal Saturday morning and early afternoon: brilliant. Teaching our first level 2 class of the session: fantastic. An unexpected evening off, when I’d been looking forward to some thought-provoking discussion with friends, but HRH’s cold got the better of him and there was no way I was trying to park out in narrow snow-covered streets. I prepped for the first lecture of the level 3 session instead: wonderful. The actual delivery of the level 3 lecture this afternoon: excellent. Yes, everything seemed fine until I got to the Beethoven rehearsal this afternoon, where I started to fumble and my energy began to flag.

All I wanted to do was sit back and play lovely, liquidy Andantes or Largos. Instead I was plunged directly into the fourth movement, where I rattled around in the Masteosos and Prestissimos, trying to settle into the rhythm. I was given a slight respite at the end for twenty minutes or so when we worked a bit of the third movement, but then it was rushing home, not being able to find parking nearby, lugging the cello home through snowbanks, a quick bath, an even quicker bowl of spaghetti with homemade sauce (thank you, my love), lugging the cello back to the car, and off to the chamber orchestra concert.

Where, yet again, turnout was disappointing. Not personally, mind you; I had four people there. If, as our conductor pointed out, we all had four people come to hear us play, we’d have an audience of almost two hundred.

I believe the lack of audience affected our performance. I personally think that our Saturday morning dress rehearsal had more life and energy to it than did tonight’s performance. Anyone who’s ever performed knows that a good audience has a significant impact on the morale and output of the artists involved. The small audience we had was enthusiastic and appreciative, but there’s something about glancing up at the conductor and noticing a sea of empty space dotted by a few people behind him.

Ah well. There’s always July. The July concert is always packed. And rumour has it we’ll be playing our May concert in Hudson, so we’ll have a new location from which to draw attendees.

Speaking of audiences, my parents will be in town for the Beethoven next weekend. I’m looking forward to it immensely, as I haven’t seen them since Christmas morning. So I’ll have both sets of parents in the audience next weekend – that’s a treat!

I thought I had tomorrow off, but on the way home I remembered that I’d promised to have those final two chapters edited and back by tomorrow morning. That was terribly optimistic of me. I intend to feel dreadfully sorry for myself for the rest of the evening, and perhaps some of tomorrow mornign as well. By noon, it wil be gone, and I can get some more research done.

Speaking of research: anyone know Bruckner’s Mass in F Minor? What’s it like? It’s the main programme for the May 1 Cantabile concert, and I don’t want to commit to four Sunday rehearsals in April, dividing my time between teaching and rehearsing, unless I absolutely love the piece we’re to play. And there’s rumours of the orchestra doing Strauss’ Death and Transfiguration before the mass.

I can’t think that far ahead at the moment. I can’t even think past Monday at noon.

Concert Tomorrow!

Just got back from our chamber orchestra dress rehearsal, and damn, we’re good!

The music we’re playing this time around is so pretty and bright (except for the Adagio by Albinoni, but it’s dramatic, so it provides a good contrast to the rest!), and it’s just what people need in February, after yet another dump of snow. The church we’re playing in — St Paul’s Anglican on 44th Ave in Lachine — is an arched church done in warm panelled wood, and stone, with beautiful windows and lighting. And — get this — it has a carpet. It’s a good thing I wore a t-shirt and a cardigan today, because when I arrived I realised it was too warm for a sweater. Such a nice change from the cold, echoey church we usually play in during the winter! The sound is phenomenal, too — nice and rich. All in all, it’s the ideal setting for a winter night of chamber music.

I brought tea along with me this morning in my shiny thermal mug, and I picked up a granola bar on the way. “Can you eat and play cello at the same time?” my stand partner asked. “Sure,” I said perkily. “I can multi-task. Got my tea, got my breakfast, got my Haydn. What more could I want?” I adore Haydn, and today’s rendition of the London Symphony no. 104 made me smile the whole way through. In fact, most of the pieces we’re playing make me smile. I have to curtail my foot-tapping and bouncing to the music, I think; it’s just that I’m enjoying myself so much that I can’t help it. It’s nice to see other musicians reacting the same way as well. A performance is always enhanced indescribably when the performers have a good time. I’d love to play regularly on a Saturday morning. The people are so much more relaxed. Mind you, I think the wonderful place we played in had something to do with that as well. The school auditorium we rehearse in is grey and cold, and we’re all tired after a day of work. Today had a very different vibe. I really think the environment has a lot to do with it. Warm colors, warm air, cheerful decor; such a nice change from the auditorium, and the concrete of the Valois church.

I love chamber orchestra because we actually play Baroque and early classical music, two of my favourite periods. This time, we have two stellar oboeists (not one, but two!) who are playing the Albinoni Double Oboe Concerto. I adore this concerto — mind you, I love most Baroque concetos, but you so rarely hear oboes! However, to my disappointment, our conductor regretfully cut three-quarters of the orchestra out of it this morning. The church is so wonderful acoustically that the enriches sound, and as a result the orchestra — even when playing pianissimo — was drowing out the oboes. So we reluctantly turned to concertino style, and only the first two musicians of each section are playing accompaniment. As disappointed as I am, I have to admit it sounds phenomenal.

It’s going to be a fantastic evening! And it’s closer and much easier to get to than the other church in Valois. The 191 bus from Lionel-Groulx stops right on the corner of Broadway and 44th, and the church is a block and a half up on the west side. I used to take the 191 all the time, and the bus ride to this venue is less than half an hour. (Yes, that link takes you to the schedules. On Sunday night, the 191 leaves Lionel-Groulx at 7 pm exactly, and you’ll get to the church for about 7:20.) Or, you could always wheedle a lift out of someone with a vehicle. The more people you fit in a car, the more people could split the cost of a ticket for the driver as a thank-you.

For an evening of excellent music in a beautiful setting, the travel time and only ten dollars are a small price to pay. If you missed the last one, don’t miss this one! If you’ve never experienced the Lakeshore Chamber Orchestra in performance, this is the concert to catch as a brilliant introduction. Check the Performing section of the righthand sidebar for address and programme details.

Still Fragile, Less Functional

The migraine is back. It was lurking.

Just sent off those chapters, and I’m taking a good long break before looking at the next ones. I currently have an aromatherapy jar with lavender oil going right in front of my keyboard, both for the headache and to counteract the smell of burnt eggs that’s been hanging around since a neighbour got off to a bad start this morning.

My cello strings still haven’t arrived, so I’ll have to play this weekend’s concert with my old ones. Not great, but not the end of the world; it’s the Beethoven next weekend I’m more worried about.

HP and Owly Tidbits

In a new interview in Empire magazine, director Mike Newell lays to rest the speculation that GOF would be split into two movies. “As far as I’m concerned it’s absolutely possible to do it in one. I think it would be slightly embarassing to do it in two,” says the director in the March issue of the magazine, available on newstands now.

“Slightly embarrassing.” Interesting phrasing, that.

And –

Mother Owl Stops Work at NASA: A great horned owl has decided Pad 39A of the Kennedy Space Center in Florida is the perfect place to hatch her eggs. NASA has stopped work at the site until the babies are born. Just look at that expression – you’d stop work, too.

Apparently there’s another owl nesting where Atlantis is to be launched in the fall too. Coincidence? Maybe Great Horned Owls are monitoring our space program.

(Both tidbits found at The Leaky Cauldron.)