Category Archives: Diary

Oh Look, Ten A.M. And My Patience Is Non-Existent

This is already a bad, bad day.

It started yesterday afternoon with me feeling ill. This morning, still ill, I’m running into scheduling problems as well. As a result I have zero patience and am very close to throwing all my scheduled activities into other people’s faces and telling them to handle everything, because I’m really tired of being the one who co-ordinates.

It doesn’t help that the only thing I got done on my list of things to do yesterday afternoon was the cello. I worked for almost two hours straight on three different songs, which is a good thing because I wanted to finalise a couple of bits I’d been developing and some of it sounds beautiful, but not so good in that it’s the only thing I ended up doing. Also in that a disproportionate amount of time was spent trying to fix something that seemed broken, thanks to a tabber’s idiocy in not correctly identifying the source of the tab I was using as a basis for constructing a bassline.

On the good side of things, however, Liam had another awesome day at daycare yesterday. This time he got to play with two other children, a boy only a couple of months older than he is and a girl of four and a half. This was very okay in his books, as he likes to watch older children playing. He’s going to get more of it today, because we’re headed over to the ADZO homestead so that HRH can indulge in some well-earned playtime with the guys, and thus Liam and I get to play with other mummies and babies. And he’ll get a bit of it tomorrow before he goes to bed as well, because there are children coming to the neighbours’ housewarming.

In Which She Admits How Much Of A Fraidy-Cat She Truly Is

Thank you everyone for your expressions of support and sympathy for the tree massacre. We’ll be planting the crabapple this fall, and in the meantime we’ll be putting up eight-foot strips of lattice and planting fast-growing vines to screen our yard from the one behind us, and to provide some sort of shade so that Liam and I can play in the yard again. If the lilacs don’t die, they’ll take about four years to come back properly, and provide privacy and shade.

Liam is off at daycare again today. He woke up four times last night after we got home around 11.30, one time enough to need to be picked up and cuddled back to sleep. Oddly enough, the loud electrical storm we had didn’t seem to bother him when things were crashing and flashing right above the house for a good half hour. But he woke up roughly every couple of hours, which meant that we did too, to lie in bed and wait to see if he’d wake up completely or just half-awaken and cry a bit before self-soothing back to sleep. As a result we didn’t sleep that well, either. Good thing we had an excellent evening out relaxing beforehand.

We think his molars are coming in, because the random biting has started up again and he sticks anything and everything into the back of mouth to gnaw. That might be one of the reasons he woke up so often, too.

I ran around and did errands this morning after dropping Liam off, and one of them involved going to the Chapters on the West Island to kick around for an hour until the shop I needed to visit in Fairview mall opened at 10:00. (And the only thing I’m going to say about the second shop is that I seem to have reached a pants size that’s smaller than I wore before I was pregnant. Smaller than I’ve ever worn, actually. I’m not sure how that happened.) And while I was in the bookstore, I did something that absolutely terrified me: I asked a clerk about their policy on authors signing shelf stock.

I am incredibly shy. To admit in person, in real-life public, that I wrote not only one book but three is a huge thing. A huge, terrifying thing. I have been in dozens and dozens of shops that carry my books, and I just kind of see them there on the shelf, then smile a bit and look away quickly, because heaven forbid anyone sees me and somehow intuits that those books were written by me, because then people will make a fuss and look at me, and I will melt from confusion and embarrassment. Not because I’m ashamed of my books, you understand. I’m very proud of them. Just not in a loud “look what I did!” sort of way. (Journal completely aside, of course. Writing about it is different. And even here I tend to worry about the flaws and the challenges more than anything else.) This is the main reason why I still haven’t done an event or a signing.

I managed to not ask this question of the five friendly staff members who paused to wish me a good day and ask if I needed any help while I wandered around. There was just something so calm and kind about Jessica (nametags are so helpful) when she was scanning the books I was purchasing, so I asked her. And she said that often they had authors in for events, or they dropped off consignment copies, and was I looking for a signed copy of something in particular? And then I had to say that no, I was, um, an author, and they had three copies of my books on the shelf, and did they want them signed? She said then that she was pretty sure the store would love me to sign them, took my name, and called the manager to verify. The manager was indeed thrilled, and said yes yes yes, and so off I went to fetch the two copies of Solitary Wicca and the single copy of Spellcraft (no Green Witch, alas), and I signed them.

The Indigo chain puts stickers that indicate signed books on autographed copies.

So there; that was today’s terribly big adventure. Hurrah to Jessica. I hope she has an excellent day.

Now I have fourish hours in which to work on Swan Sister, do a draft outline of a table of contents for a book I proposed in case someone asks me for it, and practice the cello for a bit in prep for this weekend’s rehearsal.

Heartbroken

Oh, my gods — they’ve just cut down the huge lilac tree that stood behind our backyard fence. I went out to bring the laundry in off the clothesline and I saw the bare stumps of what was once a magnificent tree, broad and almost as tall as the powerlines, and they were naked, brutal, and ugly. Words can’t describe how dreadful it looks, how open and exposed the backyard suddenly feels.

Everything was fine an hour and a half ago when Liam and I were out there. And now, it’s gone.

I’m fighting tears. I loved that lilac tree.

UPDATE: They had a whack at the other lilac tree as well. HRH talked to the people who were cutting them down, and they swear they’re just trimming them so they’ll grow back thicker next year. HRH looked at them and said, “Yes, if you haven’t killed them, because you’re supposed to trim them in the spring, not the high heat of summer.” And ‘trim’ doesn’t mean a hack job leaving a couple of feet of bare trunks, like these people have done because they don’t know how to prune properly.

We’re getting a crabapple tree to give us shade and privacy, because this is ridiculous.

Saner Summer

The air conditioner has been turned off, and we have thrown open every window we can throw open. It’s lovely and cool, a bit damp because of the rain, perhaps, but such a pleasant change from the oppressive and dangerous high heat and humidity. Plus it’s quieter. The humidity will be back tomorrow, so I’m appreciating this as much as I can today before we have to close everything up and turn the machine back on.

More tomato melts this morning for brunch, made with ai731‘s lovely and delicious garden tomatoes. We have a scattering of green tomatoes in our own garden that we’re waiting for, plus darling little cucumbers and alarmingly large squash for their age, for which we’ve constructed little frames so they won’t rot on the ground before they even ripen as they did last year. The leaves are over a foot and a half in diameter already. The onions seem to be doing quite well, too. Now, if the wave petunias in the front planters would just, well, wave properly, I think we’d be almost one hundred percent satisfied with this year’s garden.

Excellent Day All Around

Liam had an awesome day with his new caregiver! He napped longer over there than he usually does here, and I couldn’t be more thrilled about it. I’m so glad to have found someone I know and trust to care for him while I work, and that they get along so well.

I managed to write a book outline complete with table of contents today, as well as handling all the correspondence I had to handle. (At least, I think so. I always forget something, usually something that’s been carried over and carried over for a couple of weeks, if not more.)

Have I forgotten to mention that the series I helped pitch as consultant has been accepted, and now they’re looking to finalise the first couple of titles? One of for which I wrote a proposal? Updates as events warrant.

In Which It Is The Beginning Of The Week, And Was That The Weekend?

Wow — a busy busy weekend. There was lots of ritual and energy work. I facilitated the last level 4 class on Saturday afternoon, and the students handled two very challenging energy exercises with grace and aplomb. On Sunday we conducted an elevation ritual for one of our coveners, and that went spectacularly well too, both in general and on the part of the covener, of whose demonstrated work and skills we are so very very proud. The weekend was busy in an everyday sort of way too. On Friday night Liam’s godparents brought dinner over to our place and watched Liam while I went out to pick up HRH from work. When we returned they’d pulled the table out and set it beautifully, so all we had to do was sit down and eat once Liam was in bed. We had a lovely relaxing evening; it was a real treat. There was even birthday cake, the candles on which my goddaughter helped me to blow out. Saturday morning was band, of course, which was cut short when the power went out due to the nasty storm that swept through the city. Being an acoustic-based band, we simply propped open the door and went merrily back to playing songs on our setlist in the dark, but the lack of fans circulating the air drove us out after about ten minutes, alas. Sunday morning saw us picking up new plexiglass to fill in the rest of the kitchen window above the air conditioner (yes, we’ve moved it from the bedroom to the kitchen to facilitate the circulation of the cool air through the living area) and a new air conditioning unit for the Baronial residence.

Now we all need a day to recover from the weekend. And I sort of have one! Yes, today is Liam’s first full day over at his home daycare! We are both very excited. There are friendly cats, excellent toys, a cool caregiver, a hamster and rats to look at, and a turtle. What more could a chipper and social and inquisitive little boy want?

The morning visit with the daycare last Friday morning went tremendously well. The only problem we ran into was the early afternoon nap, where he was just too excited to settle down for milk or sleep, so we headed for home. He ended up falling asleep in the car five minutes before we reached the house, and I foolishly unpacked him thinking he’d fall asleep again after nursing. He didn’t, of course, so that was the total of the afternoon nap, and on top of only forty minutes of nap time earlier that morning, too. Today, however, he has his playpen in which to nap, plus his Magic Rabbit nap buddy and the crocheted afghan his great-gran made for him to help him think of being asleep in his own bed at home. He’ll eventually nap once he plays himself out, despite being in an exciting new environment. So he’s in two days a week for now, which gives me time to get my current work done.

When we were over playing there on Friday, Liam did something mildly freaky. There are baskets of toys on the lower shelf of the playroom, and I thought I’d teach him something new. “Where’s the tiger, Liam?” I said from a few feet away. “Where’s the tiger?” He turned to look at the baskets of toys, and I figured that after asking him again I’d reach over and pick up the little plastic tiger and show it to him. But before I could he reached over and grabbed the tiger toy, then turned back to face me with a “Yeah, this is the tiger, so?” look on his face. “That’s right, that’s the tiger,” I said, and when he looked down to turn it over and over in his hands and examine it, I freaked out quietly at Prospero’s Daughter, because he’s only ever seen a minute or so of a tiger on one of his videos that we’ve played for him maybe four or five times in his life, and it’s not one of the words we’ve been teaching him. Part of me thinks it must be the group mind thing, because I was visualising that little tiger toy and its position pretty hard while I was talking to him. Very cool.

Liam is now narrating our car rides, which is quite entertaining. “Car. Car. Car,” he says, pointing out the window at the other vehicles on the highway as they pass. Every once in a while he says, “Truck,” pointing at a cube van or a semi. And he flirts with people at stoplights, giving them huge grins and talking away to them. The awesome thing is that most people smile back, and chat or wave through the window. Some parents move their vehicles a little forward or back so that their child in the back seat can see and wave at Liam too. While the majority of the time these days I think the population in general sucks, sometimes people can be pretty cool.

So this is my first grown-up day of work with the boy in daycare. I have a proposed table of contents to polish and send off to another editor, a bit of correspondence to handle, some developmental work to do, and laundry to keep doing. I already stopped off on the way home to pick up some new tank tops (although no capris, alas, which were also on my list) and a few groceries.

I should add “eating” to my to-do list, because I haven’t had any appetite over the past three days. It’s just been too dreadfully hot and humid, and eating in weather like this makes me feel ill.

More Birthday Goodness

I had a wonderfully low-key afternoon with ai731 yesterday. It’s truly astonishing how simply having someone else in the room with Liam and I reduces the stress, because with two pairs of adult eyes on him each doesn’t have to pay quite as much attention to every little thing he does, so I end up relaxing with him instead of monitoring him. It’s a nice change.

She also brought me a birthday present: a full colour print of the Invisible poster she did for a class project! It’s awesome! Now I can pin it up on my wall or my door and geek out ’cause they’re so cool.

I also got other birthday gifts last night from Scarlet and Blade: books (on music and mysticism and magical tools and women’s spiritual coming-of-age stuffs), plus dark Godiva chocolate and a beanie fox kit! I am thoroughly birthdayed.

And Tal is in the process of organising a birthday thing for me, which is very very nice, because it was starting to look like I wasn’t going to get a birthday thing at all this year (again). It’s ironic that all the years I didn’t want the attention on my birthday I and everyone else was free, but now that in recent years I’ve wanted to formally celebrate it, stuff keeps getting in the way and the event never quite happens. So yay for people you’ve known for almost two decades (yikes) stepping in and making sure you get what you want.

Today Liam meets Prospero’s Daughter (whose link I have misplaced, alas), and we all play for a bit. Hurrah!