Category Archives: Diary

Catch-Up

Friday morning: government refund cheque on overpaid student loan insurance. Small, but enough to put gas in the tank and food in the cooler. Thank you, money fairies! We can go to the godforsaken howling wilderness on Saturday after all!

And so we enjoyed a lovely afternoon, evening, and morning chez Fearsclave and his lovely wife, along with t! and Jan, new local house-owners (though not local dwellers till the end of summer), and Mousme. Those twenty hours away did us a world of good. The boy stayed home with his local grandparents and didn’t miss us at all. There were shandies (or straight beer if you were pretty much everyone other than myself), burgers and sausage dogs, a bonfire and roasted marshmallows, blessedly deep sleep, then a lovely clear morning. We have now partaken of t!’s justifiably famous french toast (made with bread specially developed for this purpose by Jan), served with lashings of thick bacon and beer-boiled sausages. We consider ourselves extremely fortunate.

Yes, that was the weekend: food, relaxing, sun, friends, nothing much else. Cats, yes. Also Jack the dog. And several uninvited mosquitoes.

I slept horribly last night here at home.

This morning the boy and I cruised the local pet store for fun, then visited the Melange Magique for incense and to poke around at nifty other stuff. The boy went Tequila-hunting (smart cat hid from him a lot), played in the ‘tents’ (AKA the reader’s corners), and practised going down the stairs headfirst in a controlled fashion. Nightdemons even gave him a little coloured onyx egg of his very own. He would have chosen a blue one if he hadn’t discovered that one of the six year old girls he idolises would choose purple. Naturally, he instantly chose a purple one himself. I came home with light floral incenses to cheer me up in general and put a research book aside for later purchase. Lo and behold, upon our arrival back home, there in the mailbox was my first cheque from the freelance gig I began at the end of May, so huzzah! All the work I’ve been doing to get the damn money moving seems to be paying off (literally). Also not a huge cheque, but it’s the principle of the thing.

Last night I finished reading Ink & Steel, the first part of The Stratford Man duology by Elizabeth Bear. I’ve already geeked out on her journal about how excellent it was. I direct you to her website to read the available excerpted material and get yourself hooked. No, you don’t have to read Blood & Iron and Whiskey & Water to read Ink & Steel and Hell & Earth; they’re all part of the same universe but not in a serial fashion (beyond the loose duology of the first pair, and the definite duology of the second pair). Very, very worth reading. Bear continually astonishes me with her versatility and her ability to handle any genre at which she tries her hand. The heart of her success is most likely related to the fact that she writes a good story, about real characters with flaws and irrationalities as well as strengths, and makes it happen in a setting that has enough detail to create an entire atmosphere without going overboard. Also Elizabethan England, vile playwrights, and Faerie pretty much covers all the stuff I squee about, so when tied together, huzzah!

I have no idea what I’ll read next. The beginning of July was pretty much centred on Ink & Steel. Kind of like how my life in general can’t be planned beyond the Canada Day concert because I’m so focused on it during the months leading up to it, I hadn’t thought about what I’d read once I’d consumed Ink & Steel. Non-reading-schedule-wise, there’s a wedding to perform on Thursday, and I have a birthday coming up for which I’d like to do something but I’m so exhausted right now I can’t think of what I’d actually enjoy. Maybe just a Hurley’s thing, despite how crowded and loud it can get; if it’s my birthday I can leave whenever I like, after all. Except that necessitates babysitting, which I can’t afford. And I don’t want to have people over because that’s also exhausting on several levels, and although we all tend to forget it (including myself until I do something stupid) I do live with a chronic fatigue and pain syndrome. I just got off the phone with my mother, and she suggested a picnic in one of the local parks, an idea which has mountains of merit. I think I’ll talk that through with HRH tonight.

Blue

I don’t know if it’s the weather, the new to-the-penny financial stress (one wonders what the point of trying is, really) or scheduling hassles that are getting me down, but I’m down today. Actually, I think it may have begun sometime yesterday afternoon in a pale lilac shade, has slowly deepened more towards a violet, and now is well and truly blue. Part of it is the post-concert blues, of course. These are always especially bad after a concert as excellent as this past one, because there’s more of a high from which to tumble down. There will be a concert recap later today. Part of it is also the ongoing stress of waiting for paycheques that don’t come. Every day I think, Hey, today could be the day when there might actually be a cheque in the mailbox! and every day I’m disappointed.

I had a good day with the boy yesterday. We didn’t do the caregiver thing as is customary on Wednesdays because we knew he’d be up late on Tuesday and that he’d be off on Wednesday as a result. We paid the car registration (while we waited, the boy entertained himself by bringing me leaflets and saying, “Let’s read this book, Mama!” Sure, kid. How about I skip the words in the one entitled ‘In the Event of a Hit and Run’ and we just play the ‘identify this road sign’ game?), chased butterflies on the way back to the car, then went to the big book store to pick up a book I’ve been waiting for for months and months. (I now have my very own copy of Elizabeth Bear’s Ink & Steel, having finally tracked down a staff member in order to ask her to check in the back, because despite the computer insisting that there were two in stock there were none on the shelf. She returned reading the back cover copy and said, “Wow, this looks really good!” so I cheerfully did a reverse hand-sell of all Bear’s work to her. Nothing like selling to a book store employee. Good times.) The boy actually agreed to only look at the trains and not play with them, and he was very nearly true to his word. He very transparently steered me down an aisle and affected surprise when it opened up into the play area, saying, “Oh, look, Mama, the train table!” I let him put his train on it and run it around a bend before reminding him about our deal to go to the pet store to see the animals instead of playing with the trains, and he came quite willingly. So to the pet store we went and saw many many animals, including a very sweet Senegal parrot who quietly leaned its head against the bars and gazed into my eyes until I reached a fingertip in and scratched its head gently for a few minutes. It never took its eyes from mine. It broke my heart to eventually walk away.

After a lunch the boy went down for a nap (three hours! well, he didn’t get to bed until ten after the concert, so it wasn’t unusual, just very welcome). I fully intended to read Ink & Steel all afternoon but I’d only read the first couple of chapters when I realised I wasn’t in the right mood to do Bear’s work justice, and as I’d been waiting for The Stratford Man duology for so damn long I didn’t want to ruin the reading of it. I picked up Frank Conroy’s Body & Soul instead and read it cover to cover by bedtime. I somehow also managed to read all of Charlie Bone and the Hidden King. Go me; three books read this month by July 3.

I wish I didn’t feel so melancholy. My throat is swollen and my eyes are stinging for no particular reason. I should go light a whole bunch of candles. They’ll help take some of the water out of the air, too.

What I Read This June

Rosindust by Cornelia Watkins
Tigerheart by Peter David
Midnight Never Come by Marie Brennan
Curly Girl by Deborah Chiel
The Vile Village by Lemony Snicket
Personal Demon by Kelley Armstrong
A Flaw in the Blood by Stephanie Barron
Charlie Bone and the Blue Boa by Jenny Nimmo
Guitar Girl by Sarra Manning
You Don’t Love Me Yet by Jonathan Lethem
A Flaw in the Blood by Stephanie Barron
Charlie Bone and the Time Twister by Jenny Nimmo
The Ersatz Elevator by Lemony Snicket
The Austere Academy by Lemony Snicket
Just Listen by Sarah Dessen
Danse Macabre by Laurell K. Hamilton
Killashandra by Anne McCaffrey (reread)
Crystal Singer by Anne McCaffrey (reread)
Larklight by Philip Reeve
Year of the Griffin by Diana Wynne Jones
The Art of Practicing by Madeline Bruser
Midnight for Charlie Bone by Jenny Nimmo
Mable Riley: A Reliable Record of Humdrum, Peril, and Romance by Marthe Jocelyn

This may have been a record month. I’m too busy to check. Yet more props to my local library for supplying me with YA and middle-grade fiction. See me tear through the Charlie Bone series! See me go through the Lemony Snicket books too quickly and have to stop!

Quick notes:

Rosindust by Cornelia Watkins: One of the best books I’ve ever read about teaching. Coincidentally, it’s also one of the best books I’ve ever read about musicianship and musicality, and the making of music. (Note that they are not the same things.)

Larklight by Philip Reeve: Er, Victorian steampunk in space? Sort of? Quite fun.

The Art of Practicing by Madeline Bruser: Excellent. I must own this one.

Tigerheart by Peter David: I’ve tried to read Peter David books before and just couldn’t quite settle into them. This one, though, was very good. If you’re a Pan fan (the original book, thank you very much) you might want to look into this one. All I can say is that it was a neat re-examination of the Peter Pan story from a different angle, except it’s not about really Peter Pan. Very good indeed.

Midnight Never Come by Marie Brennan: Brilliant Elizabethan/faerie parallel story with really sharp characters and a story that draws one in and really makes one care about the characters and events. Hurrah, a sequel of sorts is being written (or at least another story set in the same world).

Nightmares And New Days

The boy appeared in our bedroom doorway rather precipitously last night around ten past one, eyes somewhat wild in the dim light. I sat bolt upright in bed. It’s astonishing how awake one can suddenly be when progeny is involved. “What is it, lovey?” I said. “Did you have a bad dream?”

“Yes,” he said in a slightly desperate, slightly muffled voice. I held my arms out. He ran around the bed and flopped onto me.

“It’s okay now,” I said, hauling him up onto the bed and rolling over with him, snuggling him in between HRH and I. “Mama and Dada are here, and you’re safe. Nothing can happen to you.”

And we slept that way for the rest of the night. I say “slept” but it was mostly heavy drowsing on our part. We’re not used to sleeping with a restless three year old. This morning HRH got up with the boy around six-thirty (the boy himself woke up around six, went and got a colouring book, and coloured quietly at the end of our bed for about twenty minutes), and I got another hour and a half of sleep. When I got up the boy told me about his dream.

“There were cracks,” he said. “But there are no cracks any more.”

“Cracks?”

“In his room,” HRH said. “When we walked into his room this morning, he looked up and said, ‘Oh, there are no cracks any more. It was just a dream.’ He told me that he’d dreamed the walls were cracking and the house was falling apart.”

I know he’s had nightmares before, but this is the first time he’s been able to articulate what he dreamed and to understand that it was just a story his mind told him while he was sleeping. It’s also the first time he’s settled down and slept when he’s come to us in bed. Usually he tosses and turns and sits up and decides it’s playtime, but then again, we’ve tried to bring him into bed in a vague attempt to encourage him to snuggle and drowse for a while, because it’s usually around five-thirty when he wakes up too early in the morning.

He’s off with the caregiver today. HRH and I have tidied the entire house (again, argh — that makes the third time in five days!) including overhauling his room. We sorted through a lot of baby toys and packed them away, and designated certain containers for certain items. There’s a box of assorted trucks and vehicles in his closet (out of sight, out of mind) and the box of baby toys and another of stuffed toys have been taken downstairs. We also thinned out his cars and Thomas stuff, putting the extras away in a storage case that’s still in the living room if he decides he needs something in particular, but at least it isn’t all out on the train table or the bookcases. And in case we haven’t mentioned it to you in person, no more Cars toys or Thomas stuff! It was nice that he had two main things people knew he loved to play with, but we’ve reached our limit of associated items. (Our limit is much lower than many other people’s, we freely admit, but still, enough is enough.) If you want to treat him to something, art supplies are big right now and get used up, so frequently need to be replaced.

HRH and I are treating ourselves to a film this afternoon: WALL*E, of course! It’s nice to know that whenever a Pixar film comes out we know it will be good, so we don’t have to worry about spending time and money and walking out of a theatre wishing the past two hours could have been more worth it. We really, really don’t see a lot of films in the theatre. I think the last movie we saw in a theatre was The Golden Compass.

Tonight is our dress rehearsal for tomorrow’s concert. I’ll be bringing the 7/8 to see how it performs in a group environment. There’s no way I’ll use it tomorrow at the concert, however, even though the luthier crossed out the ‘no public performances with the instrument on trial’ clause on the contract, of his own accord.

And finally: the crazy lady downstairs is moving out. Most of her stuff went last Thursday. Tonight is her last night here, and good thing; without all her stuff to absorb noise her TV or radio or whatever it is that she listens to awfully loudly is positively intrusive. We could hear every word of it clearly in the kitchen last night. Heck, Scarlet and Blade upstairs could probably hear it too. You have no idea how much we’re looking forward to July. Not just because the four of us get to take over that one and a half as shared office space, or because we get to unplug her ancient appliances, multiple fans and dehumidifiers and garner a greatly reduced Hydro bill, but for sheer peace of mind. We don’t need to worry any more about her falling asleep while cooking something to a burnt and fire-alarm-tripping crisp, or her letting thieves into the building, or her claiming nothing is wrong when her washing machine is leaking and ruining our stuff in storage in the garage, or allowing her jammed dryer to run all night figuring it would eventually fix itself, or her ambushing and verbally abusing us, or taking paranoid complaints to our landlord because she is convinced we’re trying to kill her. Liam will actually be able to play in his room and we’ll be able to use the kitchen in the morning without her banging on her ceiling. I have no idea what kind of place she’s moving into, but I hope she is very happy there, and I hope that her lack of comprehension concerning what life in a shared dwelling is like doesn’t negatively impact her situation.

Right. Time to tie some things up before we finish the house and head off to see the film.

The State of Autumn

Pretty wiped, actually. Very languid. Not much energy at all. I think it’s partially due to the weather (How much more damp can it get? Can it just rain properly, already? It feels like we’re walking through mist all the time, the air is so wet.), partially due to the intense rehearsals and lack of sleep after them (I’m doing the skating through light sleep cycles thing and waking up a lot these days), and partially due to something I haven’t quite figured out yet. Plus there’s that kid who lives here who gets cranky in high heat or humidity, loses his appetite, and sleeps abysmally. He’s been getting up at five-thirty in the morning, and didn’t nap at all yesterday.

We had a pleasant day with my mother in law yesterday. She had a test scheduled at the local hospital and finished early, so she called us and we picked her up. She took us out for lunch (which the boy did not eat, despite ordering enthusiastically) and even bought us clothes. I took her home with us and plied her with a nice refreshing white wine on the back porch under the new awning. This would be the day the boy wouldn’t nap. He was all right until we went out to pick HRH up around four, and he drowsed in the car for about half an hour. He slept in till sevenish today, thank goodness, so hopefully we’re back on track.

We went out to the luthier this morning and I picked up the new 7/8 cello for a two week home trial. (I have to take it back on my birthday. How depressing is that?) I played it for half an hour straight after the boy went down for his nap, and, well, I don’t know. I liked the first one better; I think it sounded a bit more mellow. (Oh, how I wish I’d had the idea of recording them when I tried it back in May!) The colour on this one is more orangey-red, kind of a deeper version of the one I have now. I preferred the brown-amber of the first one. It has nice resonance, and is easy to play, and feels all right under my fingertips. I haven’t tried the bow yet; I used my own. I’m just not completely in love with it the way I was with the first one. I am, however, completely in love with the soft case it comes with (three handles, including a double handle on the side to carry it like a suitcase! Lots of pockets! Padded straps! So well padded overall that it almost stands up on its own! Extra padding around the bridge! And I got to see an Eastman hard case, the one with wheels, which was so light I thought I was dreaming. It too had multiple handles. I was having a geeky day, evidently, to be so impressed by multiple handles. I also got to see the finish in person, which was important, because all the photos I’ve seen of them made me very wary, as the finish is pebbled and looks almost iridescent. This one was blue, and while I’d prefer a deep green (but they don’t make a darker one) or an ivory or black, I could live with the blue if I had to. Mind you, if I’m going to drop $500 on a hard case, I’ll darn well get them to order the colour I want, thanks. (Oooh! The Z-tek Deluxe model is now available in dark emerald green! Hmm. Duly noted.)

It feels a tiny bit bigger than the last one, too. But then, I didn’t switch between the 7/8 and my full-sized cello when I played it, like I did the last time. I checked the windings: it’s strung with a Helicore C and G, and Larsen D and A strings. It has a really deeply arched back, too.

The A doesn’t blend as well as the last one did. But that’s something that can be adjusted by poking the soundpost. It’s certainly resonant. I’ll post more notes as I play with it over the next couple of weeks.

People requested pictures. Here’s a shot of the two cellos side by side, so you can see the difference in size and proportion.

4/4 and 7/8, June 28 20084/4 and 7/8, June 28 2008

Argh

Gryff broke my printer last night. He tried to jump up on my lap, discovered there wasn’t enough room between my legs and the keyboard tray, and fell off onto the printer (which was printing up a large document). It promptly went CLUNK and whirred a bit, then stopped and began displaying a carriage jam error. Forty-five minutes of poking and reseating and turnign it off and on and unplugging cables and troubleshooting and trying all sorts of solutions found via the Internet, HRH and I have declared it Officially Dead. I was livid.

Like I need another expense right now. Well, it can wait until all those Cheques In The Mail come to roost in the mailbox sometime in late July.

While seeking solutions on-line, I discovered a whole slew of people who have encountered the same error message and who have not been able to fix it, or get HP to solve the problem. Great. This is something I never discovered when I did my obsessive research before buying the printer. I mean sure, I encountered the occasional negative review citing problems, but the majority of them were okay and even positive.

On the bright side, I recently received a letter from the Aide financière aux études for Quebec informing me that I might be one of those who could benefit from a recent class action ruling concerning student loans obtained in 1997-98, and sure enough, when I logged into the website yesterday I discovered that I, like many others from that particular time period, had overpaid interest on the loan and was eligible for a refund. So I initiated the process and I’ll be getting a refund of just under two hundred dollars in mid-July. I always feel a grim satisfaction when a government has to send me money, instead of me having to write them a cheque or being told that oops, sorry, those taxes we accepted way back then have been recalculated and you owe us a bunch of money plus interest even though neither you nor we knew, ha ha ha.

And in completely unrelated news, I am devouring Marie Brennan’s Midnight Never Come.

LATER: Huh. I realised that part of what I wanted to do today was print out reference photos for the YA music book, and in a fit of pique tried turning the printer on. It’s working again. Of course, it randomly spews out pages of dots and dashes now and again when I haven’t sent anything to be printed, but it’s printing. I think a night on its own to consider the error of its ways plus me waxing grr about it in a journal entry may have spurred it to attempt cooperation.

EVEN LATER: Nope, dead. Oh well.

LATER STILL: Okay, this is stupid. Maybe if I drop it from about shoulder height it will decide if it will work continually or be conclusively dead. Because this sometimes-yes-sometimes-no is making me very, very cranky.