Not-So-Vital Statistics

Birthday: July 12. Cash in unmarked bills is just fine. Oh - I drive standard, and would fit perfectly into a PT Cruiser, thanks. It's not polite at ask a lady her age, but I'm older than Gwyneth Paltrow and younger than Carrie-Anne Moss.

That Education Thing: I thought it was over and done with in spring of 2000 when I defended my Master's thesis. Was I ever wrong. Now I teach alternative spirituality classes and workshops, off and on..

Major/Minor: BA: Honours English Literature, with a Major in Liberal Arts/Western Civilization. MA: English Literature with ye olde Thesis Option. Yep: I drove right off the career-track educational road as soon as I'd graduated from high school, where I'd taken advanced chemistry and math to "keep my options open". Just to prove how off the career-track I got, my thesis was entitled Nostalgia In The Academic Novel: Re-Inventing the Past in Thatcher's Britain. Yep. They'll hand me a seven-figure salary any day now.

Career Goal: Orchestral cellist by night, dizzyingly successful novelist by day. Well-paid at both. That's important. I've always wanted to do voice work for animation or computer games, too, and I've done a few tests, but nothing's come of it yet. (Irony: I've now done scriptwriting/language consulting on two video games, including a few recording sessions. Wrong side of the microphone, alas.)

Probability of Achieving Career Goal: Well, the cellist thing might be a bit difficult because I have a bad habit of deciding to practice tomorrow. The novelist part has definite potential, though. I have five finished YA and adult novels in my possession and several more unfinished ones. I also have a novel of the romantic comedy sort that's half-finished and languishing in a metaphorical drawer. Once upon a time I had the goal of selling one of the YA novels by the end of 2004, but I kind of got sidetracked when I was contracted to write a book on alternative spirituality instead. I always expected to sell my fiction first, but I've now published three non-fiction books on alternative spiritual practice, with two more due out in 2008 and 2009. Go figure.

Title of my life story: Autumn Hiscock: Currently in Rewrites. What else?

Hair: As much as I'd love to answer this with "Fine", the truth is that my hair is thick, medium-long, curly, and usually frizzy. I am engaged in an eternal quest for a decently-priced, good-hearted stylist who doesn't condescend to me, will not attempt to convince me that layers are the only way to control curly hair, or engage me in vapid conversation. After years of suffering and looking, I think I finally found one in 2007. Naturally coloured a dark ash brown, ranging from said ash brown to chestnut, depending on my mood and my willingness to apply highlights or a wash of colour. I don't get it cut often enough because of the dearth of ideal stylists in the world (see above).

Eyes: Moss brown. If they narrow, step aside.

Height: About 5'3", unless I'm wearing my funky zip-up ankle boots, in which case it's more like 5'6". And let me tell you, that's towering for me.

Handed: Dextrous, thanks. Although it's sinister when I hold a bat or slap a puck. Go figure.

Personality Type: Introverted. INFJ, to be precise. Ye gods, I hated retail. It's those pesky customers. And clubbing is right out. Give me a book, a cat, a pot of tea and a locked door any day, thanks. Performing on stage is different - I'm supposed to be ignoring the 500+ people staring at me, and I'm not required to interact with them in a traditional fashion.

Religion: Wiccan with heavy Druidic and Germanic influences, and few prejudices.

Superhero Identity: Once upon a time I fought crime in the guise of the superhero known as Sarcastic Lass, of a long line of superheroes gifted with the Eyes of Ataia. Now, I'm a card-carrying Jedi. That's all you need to know, citizen.

Diet: I'm an omnivore. I'm very fond of grains. I don't eat red meat very regularly; it's more like, wow, I could really go for a nice thick juicy well-marbled rare steak right now, and off I go to the market and buy one. I love sushi, especially crab and mackerel. Lasagne, too. And really, dark chocolate is the only real kind of chocolate. Especially if it has nuts in it.

Politically: I'm a monarchist all the way. But then, I'm married to the King of Canada.

Relationship Status: Aloof, unavailable elf princess since September of 1999. See above, legions of adoring fans.

Things I'm Good At: Writing. Editing. Singing. Acting. You know, all the stuff that is admired but pays next to nothing unless you've got a fantastic agent.

Things I Cannot Do That Everyone Else Can: I cannot yo-yo to save my life. Seriously. If aliens came down and held the world hostage, threatening to destroy it with giant ray-guns unless I yo-yoed for them, I would bid the world a fond farewell. If I were to be mankind's last yo-yoing hope, we'd be in a sad, sad state, let me tell you.

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