I’d like to thank a handful of friends who, over the past two days, have really been instrumental in the maintenance of my sanity, either by telling me I’m competent, telling me they love me, opening their homes to me to enable me to leave the house for an hour or so, and reminding me that they’re there if I need them.
Thanks, everyone. I deeply appreciate you.
That’s what friends are for, right?
Yes. But I am very, very bad at asking for help. Particularly since I have been told in the past by friends that when I am in a less than good mood I am not enjoyable to have in company, so I tend to sequester myself even more when I really need company. I should spin that and tell myself that it means I am terrific to have around most of the time and thus my bad moods seem worse to others by contrast, but I just can’t manage it.
Also, I have a lingering belief that I can’t shake, which is that asking for help is a sign of attention-seeking behaviour. I have such a horror of showing off or attracting attention in any way that it’s carried over to asking for help. Sad and pathetic with deep neuroses, that is me. :P
Okay. You are not allowed in my head anymore. Seriously. I could have written what you just wrote. :P
Anyway, seen from the other side, none of your friends will ever think the worse of you for asking for help. At worst, the friend in question may not be in a position to give help, but they will (I assume) say so.
As always, Chez Phnee is always open in the mornings for tea and cuddles with cats. :)
I know, and if it weren’t so damn cold and if I didn’t have so much work, I’d have been over for a quiet cup of tea already. Thanks.
Quick reminder that I’ve got a mostly empty art studio with hardwood floors, high ceilings, and a cute little table right in front of a huge, south-facing, sunny window. You are welcome anytime to spend the morning or afternoon here curled up with book or laptop while I work.
You were most charming company, as was your sweet boy. And I needed the company, too, believe me. And I’ll say it again, and keep saying it if necessary—just call/email and ask to visit, do not hesitate, the worst that I’ll say is that it’s not doable for scheduley reasons. And I have the same issues you describe and always have and they are just silly! Silly I tells ya! (Anyway, for what it’s worth, you are much better at reaching out and asking for help and also accepting help than I was when Devon was wee. I was convinced that no one really wanted to help and that I would be a tiresome burden if I ever asked for help. That was, in a way, the loneliest time of my life, and mostly my fault.)
We *all* of us wonderful, charming, sweet, kind, good, intelligent women have to get over this sense that no one ever wants to be around us and we are unworthy and. . . oh ETC!!! Enough already!
(Here endeth the rant.)
You are welcome here anytime you like, as of course is Liam. It gets very lonely staying home with a small person 24-7, and I’m sure we would both benefit from the company and support. *hugs*
Just FYI, Liam is also welcome, naturally, but this place isn’t all that entertaining for a small person. There are cats to chase, of course, but not much in the way of things for him to do. :)
We need to make a We Are Awesome club, and get together to remind one another of that sometimes.
Curtana: I know, I know, it’s just been so damn cold, and I’ve had so much work… waah! Okay, self-pity over. We’ll see one another next Thursday, anyhow!
Oh, if I come over, Phnee, it would most certainly be on a non-Liam day. Getting him suited up and taking the bus in this weather is nightmarish. Also, the metro is a real issue, because of the stairs.
“I have been told in the past by friends that when I am in a less than good mood
I am not enjoyable to have in company, so I tend to sequester myself even more
when I really need company…”
That doesn’t apply with me, bad moods can be drained from people who are 90+% of the
time positive energy, and you my dear, are indeed that.
Intellectual dreary sludge needs to get drained from time to time. Part of regular maintenance. :)
And you did an excellent job of draining it away yesterday. My thanks again.