Daily Archives: February 26, 2009

Exercise In Frustration

Yesterday was, quite simply, an exercise in frustration. It didn’t feel like it at the time, but by the end of the day I’d had quite enough. And it seems to have seeped into this morning, too.

The momentum of the previous day’s writing didn’t quite carry over, so I spent a lot of time bashing my head against the end of the book. Hydro decided to play footsie with the neighbourhood, resulting in intermittent power through the afternoon followed by a solid hour of nothing. I finished knitting the boy’s lightsaber, and then everyone came home and the boy clicked into Irritating mode right around the time I was attacked by a nasty headache.

I got through dinner, packed up, and left for orchestra. I felt odder by the second but figured it was low blood sugar, which would be remedied any moment once dinner kicked in. Didn’t happen. I hung on through the first half of rehearsal, determined not to pass out, and left at break.

Here’s the thing: I remember telling my principal that I thought I should go home, and she told me to do it. I remember being dressed to go and saying goodbye to the second desk people. And then I don’t remember anything until I clicked back in halfway home, on the highway. It was not a good thing at all. Took me about five minutes to get out of the car and inside the house, too. Very shaky; very dizzy. Bad all round. It wasn’t blood sugar, it was fibro reminding me that although I have had months of good or only-slightly-off days, a couple of hours of Very Bad can still wholly and successfully screw me up.

Then this morning, when I was trying very hard to be in a good mood, I got an email that made me absolutely livid (I keep telling myself it’s not my problem, and it really isn’t, but it’s hard to let go when you put time and energy into something and people do things that indicate they don’t value that time and energy), and the boy pulled the whiny poky I-don’t-hear-you act when I was trying to get him going. I treated myself to an iced cappuccino while I was running errands; it’s warm enough, and it was exactly what I needed. (Also, I used a gift certificate to buy it, so I feel smug.)

While I was out I picked up the yarn and needles I need for the music-patterned wristwarmers knit-along I and a bunch of musicians on Ravelry are doing in March. The colours are really lovely: a warm peaty brown for the main colour, and an Irish cream colour for the contrast work. Kind of a reverse of what antiqued ink on old parchment paper would look like. The black and white is so stark; I wanted something warmer.

And now, to work. Once I go rescue the rest of that iced cappuccino from the car where I parked it across the street, that is, because there was a two-foot high and wide pile of snow across the end of the driveway when I got back with groceries. Yay for snow removal; boo for the time lapse between the steps.