I so desperately miss writing. Writing as my day job, I mean. Having a notebook next to the bed so I can jot things down as I fall asleep isn’t the same. I miss growing a story, I miss taking an idea and developing it through a chapter of NF, I miss being ambushed by a scene or story that has to be written right now, and I miss the feeling of being drained but happy with the number of words I set down during a work session. I even miss growling about how badly the writing’s going, because even then there’s some writing of substance happening. And I even miss this.
And before anyone helpfully hops in with ideas, please understand that I’m not in need of solutions to give myself writing time. My life is different right now, and I understand that; I knew what I was signing up for when I had the baby. I’m glad to have this journal in which to record thoughts and comments and the daily swing of things; that’s my writing right now. I’m just nostalgic for the huge part of my life that writing fiction and non-fic for publication used to occupy.
We had to take Liam’s mobile down yesterday because he’s perfected standing up in the crib. It’s got a funky bend in it that turns it into a base-with-light-and-music-mobile thing, though, so we’ve got it standing on his dresser now like a lamp.
It was nice to go to bed last night with part of the day and my mood salvaged. We finally got most of the coven together to make the coven incense, and it’s divine. The whole house smells fantastic. This is the project we began at Imbolc, pinpointing the three main things our coven works for (protection, healing, and spiritual growth) and then brainstorming ingredients to reflect those things. We tested them one by one to sense energy and scent, and blended three trial batches with slight variations for everyone to test at home on their own and report back. In the end we have thirteen components plus our signature ingredient (real maple syrup!), and last night they all blended beautifully. It went a long way towards soothing the badness of the day away. That’s a sign of success, in my opinion. If the energy released by burning this incense (or simply smelling the mix!) grounds while simultaneously uplifting the spirit, then it’s accomplished a lot of its goal. Now I just need to use it in ritual to get a sense of how it functions there.